In a perfect world, free from litigation, free from the urgent need to sue the holy hell out of someone because something may have happened, there would be easier ways to enjoy some rowdy, enthusiastically wretched fun. Between you and I, reader, I know that there should be this reverence for every last automobile. Each one produced was a triumph of engineering, a miracle of committees agreeing, and are a testament to their time when new. But you and I also know that only the spectacular survive…the milquetoast, the average, the well-worn and the long in the tooth have a date with destiny sooner or later, and nobody but nobody is going to shed a tear over a 2004 Dodge Stratus getting spun around after getting clipped in the rear quarter.

The Car Wars events from Beech Ridge in Maine is unhinged fun. Grab a beater and a helmet, tie the doors to the pillars and race as if the NASCAR officials can’t do anything to you. Want to spin the Sunfire in front of you into the weeds? Go for it. Can your minivan move with three wheels instead of four? As long as you ain’t oiling down the track, get back into the throttle! Some of this action is pure wanton destruction, like the rollover contest, but a lot of this is fun and the folks who are riding Chevy S-10s on two wheels have some genuine skills behind the wheel.

Sooner or later, we need to actually go do this ourselves.