I was browsing CraigsList last night for weird stuff—Wait, that sounds bad. I was searching for my next imaginary project car last night when I stumbled across an ad for an ‘88 Lincoln Town Car with a 5.0-liter V8 and 5-speed swap for a cool $2,000. It seemed nicely done enough as far as three non-descript photos can tell, but the kicker was the seller claim that I “won’t find another Lincoln with a stick shift in it I guarantee [sic].” Naturally, the only proper response to such a challenge is to prove someone on the Internet wrong and you, Bangshift readers, are all the beneficiaries.

Many of you will already know the low-hanging fruit here: Lincoln sold the (relatively) late-model LS with a manual transmission coupled to the 3.0-liter V6, though there was disappointingly no factory box on the order sheet for a manual with the optional V8. Still, the LS is coming into crapcan money and how hard could it be to race a car that shares DNA with a Jaguar? There are a few dozen of these for sale at a given time with three pedals, but this one is in Springfield, Missouri for $2,000.

The real gearheads, however, know that the old Lincoln Zephyr’s came not only with a three-speed manual, but they also came with a flathead V12 engine. These pretty much check all the boxes one could ever want: flathead, V12, manual, suicide doors, gorgeous futuristic design from the middle of the century? This one is up for sale in Orange County for a not-unreasonable $9,000.

It’s a bit rough on the outside and under the hood, but that interior is immaculate. Gravitas is the word of the day here.

If you like the post-war Lincolns, this ‘46 Sedan retains most of the Zephyr’s best features: V12, three-speed, suicide doors, and a similar design, albeit with a less-proletariat-eating grille. The interior needs some work on this one, but a quick glance at the big, round speedometer in front of the big steering wheel will make you a believer. Where else would you want to buy one except in Pontiac, Michigan like this one?

Not a fan of the Lincoln design? No problem! If you’re in Oklahoma City, you can just grab this flathead V12, three-speed gearbox, and driveline from a project and slap it in…whatever you think will fit the titanic mill. Where you would you fit it? I think a land-barge era Continental could benefit from a couple extra cylinders and a third pedal.

It doesn’t matter where it goes or even if it goes anywhere. The point is that I proved someone wrong on the Internet. If/when those ads vanish into the CraigsList memory hole, click here to see them.