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Manliest Truck Ever

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  • Manliest Truck Ever

    Found this on the F150 forum,

    Hello friends, I welcome you to this once in a lifetime opportunity. Act today and you can own this piece of history. What makes this truck so special? I'm glad you asked. You see, this is the manliest truck ever made. Now you may ask, "Hey Mr. Random Internet Person, what makes this truck manlier than an F350, or a Freightliner?" Well sit back, relax, and let me drop some science on you.

    First off, before anyone wastes their time, the manliest of trucks requires an owner of a certain constitution. Only the manliest of men and the most hairy-chested of women need apply. This truck is like an untamed stallion, and will shake lesser drivers as sure as a turn of the worlds. If you are the sort that faints at the thought of scratching your truck or getting mud on it, turn away now. If you want a truck that's a fuel-efficient mobile office wrapped in leather, go hug a Ridgeline. If you know the difference between coffee and latte, go buy yourself a Prius. If you feel that you qualify, read on.

    REASONS WHY THIS IS THE MANLIEST TRUCK EVER

    • Ford broke the mold the day they forged this truck from a solid block of iron. In fact, 9 out of 10 dentists agree that ever since this truck was made, Ford has been baffled as to how to top it so they've just been making Fiesta's and writing F150 over the name badges with a Sharpie.
    • This truck is a stick shift, just like God intended. A real man doesn't need a computer making his gear-shifting decisions for him. And as a bonus, when the AI's revolt and T-X's commandeer ordinary vehicles to do their bidding, this truck will be immune. Your grandchildren will thank you.
    • This truck is also equipped with the manliest mode of locomotion, the 4x4 drivetrain. This is controlled, not by a namby-pamby pushbutton, but an honest-to-god stick.
    • This truck has manual windows, because a real man always keeps his p1mp hand strong.
    • The odometer may not advance, but a real man knows where he's been and where he's going.
    • The parking brake may not do much, but when a real man tells his truck to stay put, it does.
    • The speedometer may not move, but you can just tell how fast you're going by the gear you're in. Lesser men may want the shifter to have a cap on it telling the driver what gear it's in. This truck doesn't need one because a real man can tell how fast he's going by the hum of the deck plates and the Doppler shift in the cries of small children as he passes.
    • This truck has no muffler because a real man will not be silenced. In fact, this truck is such the embodiment of freedom, liberty, and the American way, that if General George S. Patton were still alive you would not be reading this because he would have already bought it.
    • This truck includes a JOBOX truck box because a real man never knows when he might need a cooler capable of holding 20 6-packs.

    Boring details: 1999 F150 4x4 Standard Cab Long Bed (LWB) with a 4.6L Triton V8, bucket seats, tow hooks, tires with good tread, rear bumper ball hitch, and a fifth wheel ball hitch.

    You can own this fine truck for just $3500. Of, if you're daring, you can make me an offer. If you feel that you can handle the awesome responsibility of owning the manliest truck ever made
    Rumors of my demise by rollover have been greatly exaggerated.

  • #2
    Ford ?

    Comment


    • #3
      I want what he's smoking.
      Thom

      "The object is to keep your balls on the table and knock everybody else's off..."

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      • #4
        to be a tough truck , first it has to run
        get it ?

        Comment


        • #5
          1999.
          first thing I thought of was EGR...and a weird problem at the driver side under hood.
          Previously boxer3main
          the death rate and fairy tales cannot kill the nature left behind.

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          • #6
            LMAO! thats good stuff there.
            If you can leave two black stripes from the exit of one corner to the braking zone of the next, you have enough horsepower. - Mark Donohue

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            • #7
              Chuck Norris drives a Chevrolet - just sayin'
              Doing it all wrong since 1966

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              • #8
                Looks like a pos to me, no manliness to it at all.
                Life is too short to drive boring cars!

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by bearphoto View Post
                  Looks like a pos to me, no manliness to it at all.
                  Hell it is 4x4, doesnt have rust, is a 5 speed, and has decent tires. I could clean it up, fix the small stuff and flip it for $5k up here in the land of ever rust.

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                  • #10
                    hey, the guy has a sense of humour, good for him
                    "Life's tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid." - John Wayne

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                    • #11
                      I wouldn't buy the truck - but I love reading ads by creative people like that. If that hasn't been nominated for the "best of craigslist" category, it should be.

                      *edit: I just nominated it.
                      Last edited by yellomalibu; April 19, 2013, 05:35 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by SuperBuickGuy View Post
                        Chuck Norris drives a Chevrolet - just sayin'
                        I recall seeing him in both a Ram and a Ramcharger. I must have missed when Chevy made them

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by moparmaniac07 View Post
                          I recall seeing him in both a Ram and a Ramcharger. I must have missed when Chevy made them
                          On the show, Rams.. Real life Chevys.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by yellomalibu View Post
                            I wouldn't buy the truck - but I love reading ads by creative people like that. If that hasn't been nominated for the "best of craigslist" category, it should be.

                            *edit: I just nominated it.
                            I second that nomination!

                            Comment

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