I Can Do Nothing

[pdub]

I guess I'm made of different stuff than most everybody else. It's always awkward in social conversations.

Dentist office visit today, after the hygenist got done, here comes Doctor Brad to give me the cursory look. A strapping young guy, and his business is thriving. Like all professionals, he calls me by name and shakes my hand, etc., and starts with the bonding conversational stuff.

"So, what did you do exciting this summer?"

I said I worked. He wouldn't buy that. He asked, "You didn't do ANYTHING?"

I said nope. He's flabbergasted. He said, "Don't you fish or hunt or anything like that?" (Remember this is Tennessee)

I said, "Doc, I can do nothing better than anybody I've ever seen. And I never get through doing it." (Note: That's the line I've developed for exactly that conversation.)

He laughed pretty hard and noted that's a bit different, but perhaps it has its merits.

But I've still got to have my bottom wisdom teeth cut out. I won't cause you guys any trouble about three weekends from now. I know that's not a pretty scenario.

I'll ante Sue Unit and me against anybody for who does the least with free time. And we love it - we call it "camping." We're good at it. Did I say we're good a it and like it?

I'll blame all the travel I had to do for work for quite a few years. That's over, so now when I'm home, I'm home. Period.

[Jimbo17]

Peewee:

When my dentist came in and told me I needed a deep pockets cleaning and I asked him who named this procedure deep pockets and he told me he did not know who named it that.

I then asked how much the deep pockets cleaning would cost and when he told me around $1.200 dollars I told him I bought cars that did not cost that much he just gave me this look.

I said now I know why they call it deep pockets because that is what you need to pay for the procedure.

The final thing I said to him before he asked me not to come back any more was now I know why you wear a mask when you work on your patients because your a thief.

Jimbo

[pdub]

Jimbo, yeah a few years I got caught in a mouth deal at the Mouth Store between a dentist and an oral surgeon and came away with the sense that the oral surgeon in particular was simply in need of a boat payment. Dentist said he didn't like the little white spot under my tongue. So I went to the surgeon and he looked at it and said, "Heck with that white spot, I'm more concerned about THIS!" (talking about a red area somewhere else).

So he cut out a chunk of my tongue, and it came back not cancerous.

This time, to go with the theme of the thread, I did nothing for at least 4 years after the suggested treatment. I do know those wisdom teeth have gotta go. Finally. Can't do nothing but for so long.

Oh and of course they're going to biopsy a little white spot on my gum during the same procedure. Can't be too careful I guess. Cha-CHING!

[Vegaman]

I said, "Doc, I can do nothing better than anybody I've ever seen. And I never get through doing it." (Note: That's the line I've developed for exactly that conversation.)


Love it

[studemax]

Hey, P - did you tell him you set a Land Speed Record?

[pdub]

Hey, P - did you tell him you set a Land Speed Record?

No, that wasn't this summer. He asked about this summer.

[tedly]

You are unbelievable PDub!

[studemax]

No, that wasn't this summer. He asked about this summer.

So.... he sets the rules? How long has it been since you've seen him? 6 months - 8 months?
HOW THE HELL WOULD HE KNOW WHAT MONTH YOU SET THE RECORD?

You might spew all over this place typing, but you can't engage in good conversation - can you?
WHY AREN'T YOU BRAGGING TO YOUR DENTIST, P?

You are a BIG disappointment.
Get your ass back there and tell him, "Oh, yeah - I forgot to tell you I am one fast mother####er!".
Do it. NOW.

[SuperBuickGuy]

Peewee:

When my dentist came in and told me I needed a deep pockets cleaning and I asked him who named this procedure deep pockets and he told me he did not know who named it that.

I then asked how much the deep pockets cleaning would cost and when he told me around $1.200 dollars I told him I bought cars that did not cost that much he just gave me this look.

I said now I know why they call it deep pockets because that is what you need to pay for the procedure.

The final thing I said to him before he asked me not to come back any more was now I know why you wear a mask when you work on your patients because your a thief.

Jimbo

You're a braver man then I.... anyone who can smile, talk merrily away, and grind your teeth into stumps is not someone I'll venture to irritate

[pdub]

So.... he sets the rules? How long has it been since you've seen him? 6 months - 8 months?
HOW THE HELL WOULD HE KNOW WHAT MONTH YOU SET THE RECORD?

You might spew all over this place typing, but you can't engage in good conversation - can you?
WHY AREN'T YOU BRAGGING TO YOUR DENTIST, P?

You are a BIG disappointment.
Get your ass back there and tell him, "Oh, yeah - I forgot to tell you I am one fast mother####er!".
Do it. NOW.

Stude, I hear what yer saying, and I sure appreciate it. Thanks, Man.

But on the bigger scale....if I told my dentist I hold a Land Speed Record, what exactly would he do with that information?

Just sayin.' I'm at the frickin' dentist's office after all, not having a great day already and about to be told about a worser one.

Just sayin'

[DanStokes]

Just that you'll trump his Porsche with a Mustang because you have actually DONE something with yours. Something he never even thought of and probably wouldn't have the cojones to do if he DID think of it. His mancard is also trumped. Then he'll think twice about screwing you on the bill because he'll know you're a HE-MAN! Or he'll make you cry like a baby while you're in the chair.....

Dan

[pdub]

Just that you'll trump his Porsche with a Mustang because you have actually DONE something with yours. Something he never even thought of and probably wouldn't have the cojones to do if he DID think of it. His mancard is also trumped. Then he'll think twice about screwing you on the bill because he'll know you're a HE-MAN! Or he'll make you cry like a baby while you're in the chair.....

Dan

Dan, now you've made me realistically reconsider the whole mouth project with great fear and apprehension about the outcome...

Wait... I didn't tell him. See there, Stude? I KNEW there was a reason I didn't tell him.

[studemax]

I don't get the trepidation at the dentist office, I really don't. I have never minded going to the dentist office. Yes - I've experienced pain there, but I don't fear it!.

And don't assume your dentist won't know WTH a land speed record is. My dentist is a motocrosser - so we talk gearhead all the time. He's a guy, P - he knows what speed is....

So I still say you're a pussy for not lording it over him.

[Thumpin455]

So you think because you dont hunt, fish, build cars from a scrap of cowl and section of roof, that you dont do anything? YOU SET A RECORD! Sure it was a car you bought, didnt build, and its mostly stock, but you still drove it, entered it, and did it. it reminds me of what Teddy Roosevelt said about who credit belongs to.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

You were in the arena.

[pdub]

.

So I still say you're a pussy for not lording it over him.

Okay, so I'm a pussy with a Land Speed Record who doesn't "lord" over anybody. What the heck is "lord" anyhow, used as a verb? That one's new to me. Must be a Kansas thing. Rode my bicycle through there about 25 years ago but I never heard any body lord anybody over.