Another week, another week’s worth of news piling up in our inboxes and on our desks. For every bit that is worth looking at, there’s ten that are barely worth the time, and there are maybe five in a week that fall somewhere in the middle. Those are taken out of the trash bin, spiced up a bit, roasted a little and served up as hot and fresh as a Hot Pocket for you to enjoy. Here’s this week’s Scrapple!

1. $82,000 for a Fiat 500L? Holy…

I don’t care that it is one of the six cars that Pope Francis rode around in during his visit to the United States. $82,000 for a Fiat 500L is four times what they are worth brand new, and about five times what they are worth in real world situations. We aren’t knocking the Pope’s decision to use the 500L…he wanted to get away from the luxuries that had been associated with the office…but the fact that someone paid Maserati money for the 500 with an allergic reaction blows our minds. This particular Fiat was used in his journey through Philadelphia and was sold after eleven minutes of bidding to a couple that run a dealership network. The money will go to the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Philadelphia, according to Autoblog.

2. Serves you right.

At least one would-be gasoline thief is reviewing where he went wrong in life after this week. During the middle of the night, an individual tried to siphon fuel from a tour bus in Laverton, Western Australia. Instead of finding the fuel tank, he found the black water tank. I’d have more jokes about this, but honestly, they write themselves at that point. Cops shouldn’t have a difficult time finding the idiot…just figure out who has been buying mouthwash by the gallons.

3. Another version of “We’re Sorry” from Volkswagen

Imagine that…shortly after Dieselgate, Volkswagen is suddenly ready to put a electric vehicle into a fast-track to production. The “BUDD-e” (really…?) concept van, which VW hopes you’ll mistake as a new-age Volkswagen Bus, is powered by a lithium-ion pack that is good for up to 233 miles per charge. Not bad for a rolling Mea culpa, especially since Volkswagen wants the technology on dealer lots by 2020.

4. Elon Musk, living the dream of every salesman everywhere…

You know that statement about the squeaky wheel getting the grease? In the case of Stewart Alsop, he got a little more than the greasing he so desperately needed. Alsop, a venture capitalist, former editor-in-chief and executive vice-president of InfoWorld magazine, as well as other positions in other business and trade magazines, and blogger, had recently attended one of Tesla’s Model X launches and left unsatisfied. He then penned a writeup that was scathing about the whole ordeal that started with “Dear @Elon Musk: You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself.” Elon read it. Elon was not happy…so much so that he cancelled the order of Alsop’s Model X personally. And you only thought Ferrari picked and chose who was allowed to own their cars! As for Elon, if you think he’s bothered by all of this…well…

Must be a slow news day if denying service to a super rude customer gets this much attention

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) February 3, 2016

5. Oh, no, not you again…

The moron who sees pelicans that aren’t even there is back in the freaking news. Already facing prison for the intentional crash of a Bugatti Veyron into a salt marsh in Texas, Andy House is being indicted again, this time on first-degree theft and misapplication of fiduciary funds involving a 2005 Ford GT. According to Jalopnik, a customer paid $200,000 for the supercar, yet the GT never made it to the customer. Whoopsie! One question we have: how does Mr. House get to play with the really cool cars all the time?