“April showers bring May flowers”, huh? Then BangShift Mid-West HQ will look like the Garden of Eden by the end of the month. I just saw a frog in scuba gear swim through the marsh that is supposed to be the front yard. But random flooding notwithstanding, April is shaping up to be busier than March…and we were very, very busy in March! That doesn’t mean that we didn’t have time to slap together some random, not-quite-featureworthy stories together and make you your favorite end-of-the week news snack. Here’s your Scrapple…now with 125% more fiber!

1. Here’s our first look at the new TopGear! (not in the car, Evans!!)

With all of the stories about how the show has been a total cluster*@% since the team was assembled, we have to be honest: some of this looks pretty good! Then again, we are suckers for seeing guns mounted on a Viper and Corvette:

2. Yes, Please!

Severn Valley Motorsport did what needed to be done: take the Nissan Navara (modern Frontier) pickup truck, rip out the stock running gear, and jam in everything from the Nissan GT-R. Result: one seriously fast small pickup. Only downside: the cost is about $287,000 and the Navara isn’t legal for the US market. Dammit!

3. Down with speed limits!

It’s official – the entire Nurburgring Nordschliefe is free of speed limits, and this little guy couldn’t be happier! See?

4. TVR is taking root in Wales…One step closer to lunacy, delivered:

TVR has made a deal with the government of Wales that will see a new production facility take shape in the Ebbw Vale Enterprise Zone starting in April, according to Carscoops. With 350 deposits paid for the upcoming Gordon Murray-designed, Cosworth-modified Coyote-powered beasts already pocketed, it was only the next logical step. The next logical step: invite three Americans who have never seen a TVR outside of the movie “Swordfish” to drive it. (hint, hint.)

5. D’aaw, you’re so CUTE! 

Your eyes do not deceive you: the New York Police Department purchased 110 Smart Fortwo two-doors to replace the cars you probably know best as the “meter maid” carts. They are still going to be used for mainly traffic enforcement and won’t be used for pursuits or transportation. Congratulations, NYPD meter maids…you get a (kind of) real car!