If you haven’t been paying attention around here, there has been a kind of competition between Brian and Chad over what constitutes the best recreational vehicle. We’ve seen it all, from a Winnebago that can go mudding to an air bagged short bus. Makes you wonder just how badly the guys want to get out into the wilderness, doesn’t it? Normally, I’m not so involved. My concept of the perfect RV is either a Chevy Suburban with the rear seats removed and an air mattress in the back, or a tent set up next to my car. I like camping, but RVs conjure up memories of the death trap that was a mid-1970s motorhome that a family member owned when I was right about junior high age. I could’ve sworn the rattly, underpowered tribute to motion sickness was going to blow off of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge on the way back from a trip to St. Helens at one point. If I’m going to go for an RV, I want certain things: enough room inside to be more than comfortable. Durability…I don’t want to break things going to and from the campsite. Something unique, something you don’t normally see on the roads. I don’t want the living area and the driving area to be one and the same, and it had better be able to go wherever I want to go. And I’ve found such a vehicle.

What you are looking at is a 1994 Oshkosh M1070 with the expandable van attachment. If you’re familiar with military vehicles, you might be scratching your head at the last part, because normally M1070s, better known as HETs (say “hets”) are usually seen with a large flatbed trailer hanging off the back with an even more impressive vehicle being towed…like an M1 Abrams tank, for instance. HETs are monsters, and that’s why I’m smitten. That expandable van is a slide-out RV without the RV part! There’s enough room there for whatever your heart desires! Kitchen, bed, living area…just name it! Picture the looks on the faces of the Jones family in their completely tricked out triple-axle diesel pusher with the slide outs when twenty and a half tons of woodland camouflage pulls up and parks next to them.

Up front, it’s still the brawny military monster that it started life as. A Detroit Diesel 8V-92TA DDEC II, 12.06-litre diesel churns out 500 horsepower and just about 1,500 ft/lbs of torque, and an Allison five-speed automatic does the heavy work. Four Rockwell axles put the power down, and don’t sweat maneuvering so much…the front and rear axles are work as a coordinated four-wheel steering setup. The only downside to this powertrain package is that you are limited to a top speed of around 45 miles an hour. If you have the dough to blow, however, chances are good that you could find a way to upgrade to the M1070A1 powertrain, which will net you a 700 horsepower Cat six-cylinder, an Allison 7-speed automatic and a top speed of 70 miles per hour. Or you could blow half a million dollars or more on a boring, standard RV. Your choice.

The inside of the HET might not be super-plush, but you can seat up to six in comfort, or you could leave the dual-bunk system alone and cat-nap as you travel from place to place. The fuel tanks hold up to 250 gallons of diesel, JP-8, or pretty much whatever you feel like burning for a fuel, and if you have to ask about fuel economy, do yourself a favor and go get a converted Sprinter van, you’ll be happier. Stereo? Sound system? Better get creative…they don’t exist, unless the sound of that big Detroit working it’s magic is enough for you.

Does the interior look barren to you? Well, get to work! The expandable van is a perfect blank slate for whatever your heart desires. Originally meant to be a command workstation, this could be as sparse or as luxurious as you want it to be, and it’s already rigged with lights and windows. Certainly a little bit of fluff-and-stuff isn’t too hard for a gearhead to put together, right?

The fuel bills will earn you a Christmas card from OPEC, many will wonder if you’re the scouting party for an invasion, Greenpeace types might need CPR after seeing it roar down the road and we’d want video footage of when you attempt to register this beast, let alone prove to the local DMV that you are qualified to safely operate it. But is it really such a high price to pay for a vehicle with this much room AND fully locked eight-wheel drive?

eBay Link: 1994 Oshkosh M1070 HET with Expandable Van