Sun-baked, running from track to track, and showing no signs of stopping, we march on to bring you news, both important and…well, not. As Chad stands on a glass panel several hundred feet in the air (true story!) and Brian takes over the Sasquatch Watch this weekend, I’ve gone through the never-ending-buffet of news posts for some blurbs that are just worthy of being smashed together and mildly roasted into something palatable enough to digest. This is Scrapple, enjoy…and be sure to take a Tums afterward.
1. You couldn’t have just taken the elf himself?
The Rio Olympics are in full swing. America won a gold medal at shooting, the swim teams are reviewing decontamination procedures, fans are reading up on Zika virus, and Bernie Ecclestone’s mother-in-law got kidnapped and held for ransom. Aparecida Schunck, 67, was kidnapped by Jorge Eurico da Silva Faria, one of Ecclestone’s helicopter pilots. The kidnappers demanded a $36.5 million ransom, but after nine days police managed to free Mrs. Schunck without an issue.
2. At least it’s not the Prius.
Chevrolet has sold 100,000 Volts in America. Competitors? You have the Nissan Leaf (excuse us, we need to go get sick) and Teslas, which while fast and handsome enough, are expensive with an ecologically-friendly expletive. Chevy’s plug-in hybrid is currently the best-selling plug-in to date, and that number might go up if Chevrolet continues to make the Volt less…I don’t know…eco-like, and more like a standard sedan that needs to be recharged.
3. #stolen.
FCA, and in particular the Jeep Cherokee, has been the target of hackers, of all things. Recently, two computer-savvy car thieves, Michael Arcee and Jesse Zelay, were arrested after they were caught trying to boost a Jeep Wrangler Unlimited from a dealership lot. In total, the pair got thirty Jeep products, which they shuffled to Mexico. Sounds like a movie plot. “Gone in Sixty Keystrokes”? Yeah…that’ll be a summer hit.
4. A Jetta by any other name…
Volkswagen’s name-credit is so far in the toilet, they have to get a plunger to check the stories on who is pissed off at them this week. Bad for the company, and it’s going to be a long time before things get better. So what do you do to try and make sales in the US market that currently is having several conniption fits over emissions-cheating diesel eco-cars? Bring a new foreign name to the country, bring over the fun stuff with it, and pray that this distracts the masses. The car above is the Škoda Octavia, and if the rumor mill is to be believed, patent office documents point to it and the Superb, Yeti, and the “VRS” performance trim name possibly coming over to the States. Hooray, distractions!
5. Rest in peace, Ford Falcon Ute.
The final days are here for Ford Australia. The Falcon wagon has been gone for a little bit, and this week the Falcon ute was retired, with this white, manual-trans XR6 being the final sendoff. The car will be kept in Ford Australia’s private collection, while the second-to-last Falcon ute will be auctioned for charity. Shame to see them go…
I still don’t understand why Ford or GM never imported their Utes from Austrailia. I’d rather drive one of those than a pick up.
Because Detroit didn’t like that idea.
Both Ford Aust and GMH could have been saved (well, at least lasted longer) with export deals to the Americas, middle east, parts of Asia etc, but Detroit sends the US made FWD turdboxes there, so no go.
two reasons:
1) the Australians sell boatloads of raw materials, thus their currency is very strong compared to pretty much everyone else – thus, if they produce a car in-country and export it, the result is something that costs too much; which is the swan-song to this:
2) When GM stopped building the Chevelle and its derivatives, the UAW bought into the plant closing by demanding that any new similar car would be built by the UAW. Lutz got away with the GTO because of limited production numbers, but it was NOT profitable – that said, it brought us back the Camaro and several Caddy cars… so it wasn’t all bad.
There is a 2b, that is consumers cross shop, and to convince a large enough demographic to not buy small pickups and instead get an ute is tough – look no further then the SSR – no one bought it, even with all the biscuits thrown in at the end….