Confession: I’ve always wanted a two-door 1988-1991 Mercury Grand Marquis. Compared to the 1987 and older Marquis coupes that Mercury did sell, the lines look smoother and aged better in my eyes. But Mercury never made one…the plug on the coupes got pulled at the end of 1987, before the body got a refresh and updated exterior sheetmetal. Not that it would be too terribly difficult to create a phantom coupe, but people go about things in ways that will leave you scratching your head and wondering about the sanity of humanity. So, instead of figuring out how to graft new metal onto an older Panther coupe, we have this: a 1988 Grand Marquis with a massive section of the middle gone.
What the builder was thinking, we may never know. The front end and trunk remain stock size, which is a very good thing, but then you have enough room for a five-foot-eight or smaller driver inside to sit in awkward luxury, and the exterior looks like an attempt to ape the stripe design of the 1970s Ford LTD II or maybe a colorblind version of the Starksy and Hutch Torino.
We know that the car was probably created with the better part of the middle rotted out, but we want to know where you guys think it ended up (besides the scrapyard.) Our money says that there is a a family of kids who have the most luxurious swingset on the block. Hey, you’d go swinging again if you got to sit on a plush bench seat, right?
The backseat is a bed in a “crack” den somewhere!
This looks like something Chevy Wishing Mad Gepordie would drive around his little island 🙂
While this is probably the biggest pile of shit I have ever seen on these pages, I would rather drive it around my “little island” than anything that wore a Chevrolet badge – so you’ve got that right…