Lotus’s PR department has taken a new and frankly twisted path when it comes to how they sell the Evora 400. Instead of extolling the virtues of the Evora, which is a carryover model while Lotus develops whatever they are going to sell minor quantities of in the U.S. next (a crossover is actually a sincere possibility), they have instead chosen an air of elitism with a touch of caustic humor only the British have truly perfected. Running with the hashtag “#itsnotforyou”, Lotus is instead carving out the Evora’s niche as a car that only the best drivers can handle. Lotus’s cars are normally handlers, not powerhouses, but apparently the company is so convinced that the Evora 400, with a retuned 3.5L Toyota-sourced supercharged V6 pushing 400 horsepower and 302 ft/lbs of torque, can’t be tamed by anything less than a racing driver. Anybody here think that those power levels in a car weighing less than 3,200 lbs. is uncontrollable? Raise your hands, please.
Our friends at CarThrottle brought their testing game to our attention. Basically, you grab a yellow block with your computer’s mouse, and without hitting the other blocks or the walls of the game, attempt to survive at least seven seconds. I won’t lie in the least…after two minutes’ worth of attempts I devolved into a seething mess. At least the fail messages are worth the price of admission: “How do you park your family saloon with coordination like that?”, “Something a little more leisurely from Stuttgart, perhaps?”, “Mr. Martin in Aston will see you now,” and others show that at least the company has a sense of humor, though that was plainly apparent when they decided to unleash this game upon the public. At least the Flappy Bird guy saw the error of his ways.
If you feel like tormenting yourself, CLICK HERE to play. As of writing my best time is 13.07. Good luck.
Now let me make you feel bad, Bryan: There are people who are up to 380+ seconds at this game.
Apparently the Lotus is not for me, but my bank account was saying the same thing anyway.
Screw that @#$!