Did you ever see the movie Demolition Man? It’s got Sandra Bullock and Sylvester Stallone in it, features one badass 1970 Olds 442 as a scene-stealer, and is based in a utopian future where Taco Bell is fine dining, you get fined every time you utter an expletive and where…um…well, if you know what the three shells do, please tell me, because I’ve been trying to understand that since childhood and I still can’t figure that out. But there is one scene that is ringing fairly true for me right about now: the futuristic autonomous-driving capable police cruisers, when crashed, fill with “SecureFoam” to the point where the occupant is cocooned inside the shell of the vehicle. In the mid-1990s, this was a punchline. In today’s world, maybe not so much.

Let’s take the 2012 Chevy Cruze that has become my fuel mileage selection here at BangShift Mid-West. I want you to keep a couple of things in mind: this is a car that is within a couple of inches both length and width-wise of a 1968 Chevrolet Nova…no kidding. It’s an Eco model, a six-speed car, and isn’t optioned all that extravagantly. So, about the safety of the car? Watch this video and see that the ten airbags are only just the start:

Well, the good news is that I’ll probably be alright if something happens to the little rollerskate. Ok, I’m having a laugh at the idea of the whole car turning into a gigantic pillow the moment the shit hits the fan, but I’m not stupid…this is the kind of technology that has saved lives over the last few decades. Airbags have many problems associated with them, but the moment they work when you need them to the most, you’ve never been happier to see one. Nothing wrong there.

Now, I want you to check out something new that was recently put out by ZF Group. The company that makes transmissions is now trying out something they are calling a “pre-crash external side airbag system” that is supposed to offer up extra cushioning for side impacts. Not to be that guy, but maybe driving something more substantial than a prop car made of what might be pool noodles with a car-like covering would’ve been more convincing. Watch the demonstration and see for yourself:

Alright, BangShifters, now is the part where you get to fire back. At what point do you say “enough”? My personal limits: I’m good with seatbelts, I’d prefer harnesses, and I could give a rat’s ass less about airbags for myself. I don’t need or want electronic nannies in my vehicles like lane departure systems and automatic parking. And the day that the outside of the car turns into a marshmallow over a near-miss in a parking lot is the day I quit and start hoarding 1980s and 1990s crapboxes…just earlier today, the Cruze would’ve popped like a corn kernel four times in the parking lot of an expansive grocery store in Cincinnati thanks to dumbasses who weren’t paying attention. My insurance adjuster would’ve had a kitten once he got that report!

When do we reach the mark of “too much safety”?