You know how this goes…you’re cruising along a nice, winding backroad heading towards a decent little town. Sunny day, good temperature outside, perfect weather to go have a nice blast through the countryside as you soak up the outdoors. Then, right as you pull into town, it pulls out in front of you: a gold Grand Marquis. And “leisurely drive” has taken on a new, darker meaning as the big Panther moves at a stately (read: glacial) speed. Sammy Hagar and his inability to drive 55 miles an hour doesn’t even come close to the rage you are experiencing as you creep through town, stuck behind the Mercury, doing 22 MPH in a 45 MPH zone, causing you to wonder if you can really get a ticket for going too slow in a school zone.
This Grand Marquis doesn’t seem to have that kind of trouble. This is at Barber Motorsports Park in Birmingham, Alabama and yes, the big Merc is filled with helmeted passengers. Behind them sit two passengers in a C5 Corvette who, instead of seething with simmering rage, are instead laughing at the sight of the gold brick as it attacks the course. BMWs and a couple of hardcore track cars go flying past as the Corvette sticks to the Grand Marquis’ rear bumper, watching the show. I can’t think of any other time a Corvette was stuck behind a Mercury on a race track. If you aren’t laughing at this, you’re on the wrong site, because there’s a pretty good amount of hilarity here. I can almost hear Clark Griswold in the driver’s seat talking about plastic surgery and smiles…
Yeah Grand Marquis in full pillow mode would be even funnier if it was a Town Car in full marshmallow. That being said the P71/P74 variants (Police, Sport, Marauder) with upgraded rear control arms and good rubber handle very well for their size and weight. Showing a 911 or Z06 it’s taillights nope not gonna happen. I had a lot of fun in my modded CV Sport at the drags and in the corners with high performance cars old and new. It’s way more fun to be the guy in the silver sedan walking away through some twisties or hitting second and pulling a car length than being the other guy, I promise.
Usually the pull out and drive slow suspects around here drive Toyota Camrys (tan or gold usually, with one corner of the bumper caved in).
Between this video and cleetus mcfarland videos, I kinda want a crown vic now.