Boy oh boy, these are some strange days we live in, right? Kind of makes you want to just pack up a bug-out bag and head out to the furthest point away from humanity and proceed to shelter in place among the pines and the creek for the next few weeks, if for no other reason than to not hear your insufferable next-door neighbor’s tin-foil hat ramblings as they reach a fever pitch. Hey, if you want to head out into the middle of nowhere and pop a tent, who are we to judge? Bring enough supplies with you and check in every now and then to see when everything has blown over, so you know when to return from the woods, Grizzly Adams.
Not that I’m particularly worried about my condition…BangShift Mid-West is parked in the middle of corn fields, well away from Bowling Green proper…but if I was going to eff off for a few weeks to get past the pandemic, my bug-out vehicle of choice would have to be this M715. An overbuilt example of the FSJ pickup trucks, the M715 has an upright, badass factor that even the HMMWV can’t touch. No HMMWV is going to sound like this one, either…in lieu of the Tornado six, a Ford 460 lives in the engine bay and delivers all of the power you’ll need to get where you’re going. That 3.5″ pipe push bar front will shove everything smaller than a Ram 1500 out of the way with ease. You can stuff your tent and supplies into the storage containers, you’ve got what the military refers to as a “pioneer kit” (a shovel, an ax and a pick) and you’ve got enough ground clearance that, worst comes to worse, you can shelter underneath.
Maybe don’t shave that beard when you get back. Slather it in beard oil, buy some nice flannel and new jeans, and become a male social media model.