Sometimes I delude myself into believing that Brian and Chad have me on board for my witty banter and thoughtful insights into the fascinating world of G-body ownership. In reality, they really just keep me around for the times when they get the opportunity to show me terrible examples of the automotive brands that I love and then ask (Read: force) me to write about them.
This is one of those times.
Let’s get it all out on the table: I’m a big fan of Subarus, specifically the turbo-charged ones. Up until this last September, my daily driver for the past seven years has been some form of Subaru, starting with a 2000 Impreza 2.5RS and ending with a 2003 Impreza WRX. Along the way, I’ve even convinced a friend or two to purchase a Subaru as well.
In general, Subarus aren’t attractive-looking cars, but they still have an appeal that is hard to explain until you’ve driven one of the performance-oriented ones. I still lust after WRXs, STIs, Legacy GTs, BRZs, and SVXs, and in a moment of weakness I’ve even been know to look at a Brat or XT and find myself saying, “You know, with enough money…”
Below, you will not find one of those cars. Below, you will find a Subaru that needs to be burned with the haste that you would burn a spider’s nest that is actively erupting spiders. Giant freaking spiders. The ones that jump.
Best I can tell, this rolling wreck started life as a 1978 Subaru Leone wagon. It looks to have originally been painted blue with a matching blue interior, although that is purely an educated guess based on the sections of the engine bay that the current owner neglected to cover with either green or black spray paint. Based on the overspray and overall quality of the paintwork, my assumption is that it was painted indoors, with all of the windows closed and without wearing a respirator. At least there was enough black and green left over to spray-bomb the wheels as well, which is a nice touch.
The owner also managed to find a set of matching lime green seat belts, which shows commitment to this shade of green. Begrudging respect, my friend.
Leaving alone the giant rot holes in the floor and trunk, along with the non-matching and ripped front seats and the bodywork that appears to have been done with a sledgehamer, let’s move on to where this beauty really shines: The engine.
The ad itself doesn’t provide much detail, but with a quick internet search I found a few more details on the car and engine. A topic on a Subaru forum lists the engine in this particular car simply as a “stock ea71 with turbo and Harley Davidson Mikuni carb, running seven lbs of boost”. The stock ea71 of that era put out 67 horsepower and 81 lb·ft of torque naturally aspirated. With seven pounds of boost flowing from that air filter sticking out of a hole cut into the grille (Cold air intake, yo!), past a turbo of unknown size and into an intercooler of unknown (in)efficiency before funneling into a terrible head design via a carb, this pocket rocket may be cracking the hundred horsepower barrier. If you are destined to be the future owner of this fine vehicle, be sure not to inform your insurance agent of this increase in power lest they bump you into a higher insurance bracket.
Of course, all of that power is useless if you can’t see where you’re heading while going maximum attack on the nearby hills in this rear-wheel-drive drift machine. A set of hacked up BMW projectors take care of this nicely, while red underglow illuminates your feet through the holes in the floor. Who said that luxury and performance don’t mix?
I’m running out of time and energy, along with the will to live, by continuing to analyze this ad for more details, so I’ll leave the description and photos of the custom suspension to speak for themselves and finish with this thought:
If you’re going to buy a Subaru, don’t buy this one. Or, if you do, please shoot me an email at [email protected] with your address so that I can come over and light it on fire.
Thanks(?!) to Ben Becktold for the tip!
SCROLL DOWN FOR MORE PHOTOS AND THE LINK TO THE CRAIGSLIST AD!
CL AD LINK: THIS 1978 SUBARU WIDE-BODY IS LOTS OF THINGS BUT GOOD ISN’T ONE
“…I drive it every day”. Where is Wilsonville so we can be somewhere else?
My guess is either Maine or Oregon. What a puke green POS!
This thing gets even worse the closer you look. I’m all for making beaters faster on the cheap, but not like this!
1. The intercooler is mounted ON THE FIREWALL. Usually that would mean no airflow through it. Either that, or he’s cut a hole in the firewall so he can get hot engine air dumped into his lap. I’m not sure which is worse.
2. That rear cantilever suspension. It looks like there’s only about an inch of travel before it binds.
SHE’S A BEAUT CLARK !
Metallic Pea?
Oregon plates—-not surprised—the only good thing about this particular pos is that it’s a least a state away from me,and serves as a shining example of why you shouldn’t do drugs—
I’d use that for a grocery getter. I personally own a gen 1 Subaru wagon with an EJ swap, and 3 other Subaru wagons. Other than a rear 6 lug conversion and Impreza L seats for comfort, the exterior is stock.
I know it’s not exactly everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s definitely interesting. The cantilever is a better idea than dropping the car onto the bump stops. I’d rather see it get cut up and painted strange colors than just rot into the ground or get crushed.
IC against the firewall, I’m not sure what’s up with that. I know heater cores are impossible to find for these cars, so why not use an IC?
You asshoes bring your shit you don’t know what work went I to this car so thanks for being jealous and as you would like to know they turbo 1600s do your research and find your balls I am creative and I been driving it for 3 years I sold that bitch to so fuck you and if you want to start something I’m from Detroit so bring your ass to my address ill give you the address its at I promise you will disappear