We’re sure you are reading this and wondering, “What could possibly make you guys want to get loaded after all the good news this week?” Indeed, the Mustang, Camaro, and Challenger have never looked better and the horsepower war is in full swing, so what in the hell could make us go from that high to “Get me another, Bob”?
Somehow, the Smart Fortwo got another generation, which is due out in 2016. HOW?! How in the blistering hell did that abysmal little gumdrop of a car get another chance to live?!
Hooray! I’m ba-aaack!
While small, fuel-efficient cars aren’t our focus here, at least if the car does exactly as it is advertised, generally we leave it alone. The Toyota Corolla is a great example: It wants nothing more than to be a little sewing machine that will start everyday, get you to work on time, and all you have to do is change it’s oil every once in a while and keep it fed. And it does that well. The Smart came to the United States promising excellent parking, wonderful gas mileage and a unique driving experience that was so much better than the Yank Tanks we were driving. Well, here’s the truth: It’s Tupperware with wheels, it has the sex appeal of a school bus on fire, it has THE WORST transmission in existance, and it’s gas mileage was nowhere near what it should have been, especially when it looked like THAT. Even the name pisses us off: “Fortwo”. Oh, we get it, for two…unless you’re built like McTaggart, then it’s ForOne. Bonus points: some of the first people who bought Smarts were even more pretentious and arrogant about their green-ness than Prius owners. Aren’t you glad that you bought that Smart Passion now?
Hmm…Smart Passion…sounds like a sexy fragrance.
Somehow, Mercedes-Benz, the overlord of Smart, allowed a redesign. Somehow they managed to redesign the car while letting it look exactly the same. Supposedly there is a five-speed manual transmission, and while that might sound tempting enough to help it’s case, the current-generation car couldn’t have the manual in the U.S. because the clutch pedal kept burying itself into the feet of the crash test dummies.
So, there you go. We’re gonna go have a shot. Hopefully that will be enough to erase this micro-machine from our heads. Cheers.
I’ve seen some racers replacing their golf carts with Smart cars as chase and pit tow vehicles at the strip. A trend?
So that means we have another season of Smart car tipping.
There ARE cool smart cars. They have big hairy motorcycles in ’em!
Yeah, ok, but if they didn’t exist then neither would this 😀
http://youtu.be/jnp-PKvNIZk
You beat me to it. It’s not the quickest thing in the world but what a sleeper. It must be a blast on the street.
Kevin
I saw a Smart car converted into trike. I don’t know what happened to the front end and doors, but the rest of it looked kind of cool in a weird sort of way with a motorcycle front end on it.
i work next to the Mercedez dealer in SF, and they sell the hell out of these things. Theres at least 50 all electric smart car “EV”s sold each week. really makes sense for some places. I don’t even drive into work anymore, as biking and the train is faster, and I gain a couple of thousands in the autocross for every 10lbs I lose 🙂
Looking at how terrible the sales numbers for them are, that dealership alone must account for a very large percentage of American sales.
The Pregnant Roller Skate will live on. We will continue to have a car to make fun of. Comical sightings of these parked at Costco where the shopping carts are larger than the car. Snooty owners with the hoity, toity comments about muscle are easily responded with things like ” Does Disneyland know you stole that off the kiddy ride?”