In April of this year, we made the call that come hell or high water, Project Angry Grandpa, our 2006 Chrysler 300C, was going to do one simple trick: run a 13.99 or better and trap over 100 miles per hour in the quarter. We tried, folks, we really did. We yanked about everything but the carpet and the driver’s side seat out of the car for weight reduction. We ran in the coolest air possible. We even got real lucky and got a day that was clear, cool and had a density altitude that read something like -1,000 ft, yet the best the gold brick has done is a [email protected] MPH. Not bad for a pretty much stock 300C, but not where we wanted to go. And the worst part is that there was an even more ambitious goal in mind…matching the 13.65 blast that I ran in a 2005 Ford Mustang GT in 2011 at the now-closed Speedworld dragstrip in Arizona. At this point, we have to make the concession: unless we can con the folks at Beech Bend Raceway Park into running a test-and-tune day in mid-November on a cold day, we aren’t getting either mark as the car sits. And that, in a way, kind of bites. But that’s where the story begins…

Shortly after our trip up to Milan Dragway in Michigan, I was contacted by Erik Storms of BFNY Performance who had one simple question for me: “You ready to put a cam in that thing yet?” Are you kidding me? Of course I was ready to put a cam into the car…and since Erik and BFNY Performance handle a lot of the cars in the Modern Street Hemi series, it’d make perfect sense to have them do the work, especially since he had several take-out 6.1 camshafts ready to go. But, as you all know, projects tend to snowball easily, and as you read these words, I’m hauling ass up to BFNY Performance in Cleveland, Ohio with a trunk filled with parts, fluids and shop clothes. But what am I doing, you ask? Simple: I’m gonna light a fire under Grandpa’s ass. Here’s the list of the parts that is going into the car:

Craig Thibeau at Thitek has cleaned up a set of 5.7 heads for the car. I’ll get details later on, but trust when we say “cleaned up”: check out the video below. These are the heads that are going onto Grandpa:

The 6.1L camshaft, valve springs, and timing set are take-off items laying around at BFNY and have been graciously donated by Erik. The lifters were sourced from Andy Wagner at East Coast Moparts and are the same units found in Hellcat 6.2L engines. They weren’t cheap, at around $400 for a complete set with yokes, but it’s one thing I shouldn’t have to worry about and it should shut that lifter tick up for good. I’m also throwing in a 180-degree thermostat, new head bolts, and have picked up all-new gaskets for everything that is being opened up. Some take-off SRT exhaust manifolds and catalytic converters will be a welcomed addition, because compared to the stock 5.7 units, they will behave like long-tube headers. Hopefully they also add a little more menace to the bark that the 300C already has with the Magnaflow cat-back kit.

The fun doesn’t stop at the engine, either. A 3,200 RPM stall converter, courtesy of Ben Maniaci and Paul Buza at Enhanced Transmission is going into the NAG-1 automatic, which will satisfy at least one MSHS racer’s consistent demands (Looking right at you, Patrick!) Out back, a 3.09 rear gear will take the place of the current 2.82 gears. It’s a small step, but it’ll add to the feel of the car without causing too much of a fuel economy penalty. I’ll take that. We will also be adding in 31-spline rear hubs and axles, replacing the 28-spline stock units, because we don’t want to immediately shred axles when we put the drag radials we have sitting in the garage to the test the first time out. In fact, the only things NOT getting replaced that I had in mind are the struts at all four corners…just not enough room in the budget for take-off SRT-spec Bilsteins at this point, but they will eventually make their way onto the car.

Finally, there is the tuning, and that’s where the potential of the newer, angrier Grandpa can be measured for sure. BFNY has a dyno in-house, so once everything has been bolted together and the car’s first start-up doesn’t result in a small underhood mushroom cloud, we will put the 300C onto the rollers and get to putting the Trinity programmer we’ve got on the car now to work. I’m not even going to try and guess power figures or times at this moment…as I write this, I’m just psyched that Erik, Craig, Ben, Andy and everybody else who has pitched in on this project has done so, because otherwise this build just wouldn’t be happening. So, for now, make your guesses and stay tuned to BangShift’s Facebook page for updates as I bust my hump to get everything done. If all goes to plan, I should be heading back to Bowling Green by Wednesday with a lot of information and, if I’m over-the-moon lucky, on time for one test-and-tune day at Beech Bend to run a rough number on the street tires.

Grandpa is coming back. And forget Angry…he’s gonna be pissed off. Maybe enough so to take on BangShift’s other four-door family bomber? Stay tuned…