Indian summer is upon us here…the temperature is right on that fine line between cool and “get a coat”, the trees are starting to get colorful, and at least twice a day flights of geese fly over the house en route to warm southern climates. As we scramble to knock out the last good outdoor projects and enjoy the still-pleasantly warm temperatures, we feel that starting your day with an extra-special helping of everybody’s favorite pile of discarded headlines is the only way to go. Here’s your scrapple for the week. Pumpkin spice latte is extra.

1. The semi-autonomous Tesla is here. Crap.

We’ve been hearing tech geeks and lazy humans with driver’s licenses yap on and on about this for months now, and it is finally here: Autopilot, Tesla’s “level 2” autonomous driving system, was sent out via update to the cars. We’re simply rolling our eyes and moving on from this because our interest in autonomous cars is right up there with the Jell-O Mold of the Month Club, but if you’re really curious to know what it’s like for some techno-dork to watch his car do a better job of working the wheel than he is capable of, CLICK HERE.

2. Acura is restoring rapper Ludacris’s 1993 Legend and bringing it to SEMA

The Acura that took a punch to the rear door belongs to Chris Bridges…aka Ludacris. You know, rapper, actor from Fast and the Furious. We don’t know if it was his first car, but he has owned it for years and has no intention of ever getting rid of it. Unfortunately for the Legend, it was involved in a fender-bender, so Acura themselves are taking on the restoration of the car, which will debut fixed up in time for this year’s SEMA show. We have nothing to make fun of at all here, except that if it wasn’t Luda’s car, the Acura would be in a scrapyard somewhere.

3. Leonardo DiCaprio just bought the rights to the Dieselgate story. Fantastic, another movie…

Summary: Wall Street Journal editor Jack Ewing wrote a book about Dieselgate. The film rights were picked up by DiCaprio’s Appian Way studios. Honestly, this film could be good…he could at least use his “The real question is this: was all this legal? Absolutely f___ing not” line from The Wolf of Wall Street in the new flick!

4. Tasty bit: The Bugatti Chiron Might Live After All

Bugatti themselves have made clear that the upcoming Chiron (Vision Gran Truismo pictured) will be coming out, regardless of Volkswagen Group’s current situation…you know, the one that is leaving the board of directors feeling like the band on the Titanic. Other than the fact that Bugatti only makes one freaking model, and can sell that model for a speculated $2.4 MILLION per copy, we don’t understand the logic, but hell, who needs logic when you have Middle East money flowing in, right, guys?

5. Really tasty bit: Revised Focus RS power figure?!

Just when we couldn’t drool any harder over the Ford Focus RS, we get the news that the power rating has been bumped up. Again. 350 horsepower, 350 ft/lbs of torque. This is going to be one evil little bastard.