The April showers brought the May flowers, and with it, the running noses, the sneezing, and all of the other joys of allergy season. At least the weather is nice and all of the good car events are going on! Whether you are in the garage or out and about, it’s gearhead season! Between all of the fun times we have here, we tend to skip over most of the news quips that we get, but we try to stop and sniff out a couple decent pieces that could be worth a half-second look over. Here’s this week’s Scrapple collection:

1. Well, it already had an unusual-shaped arse…

…might as well make something proper out of it. Automotive News got confirmation from Porsche Cars North America CEO Klaus Zellmer that a sport wagon version of the Porsche Panamera is coming to the United States market. It’s a bold move, but considering the amount of flak that Porsche got for the first generation Panamera and it’s large-by-huge ass end, it was clear something had to happen. What we are waiting for for Porsche to realize that the Panamera resembles the 928 and to make the two-door unit happen.

2. Porsche developer voluntarily walks due to Dieselgate.

Image: Porsche

Seven months after being suspended for possibly being involved with the emissions cheating scandal that has plagued Volkswagen AG, Wolfgang Hatz, head of development for Porsche, has voluntarily left the company. Porsche has said that no evidence connected Hatz, who was the former head of engine and transmission development at Volkswagen, had anything to do with the scandal, but Hatz himself has been fairly outspoken about what he perceives as impossible and unrealistic emissions rules.

3. Lamborghini Taxi. For when you have to get there NOW.

Eff your bright yellow Ford, this Neon Kiwi Lamborghini Huracan is a legit taxi that can be used for any journey. If you’re near the Wolverhampton region of England and need a lift that’ll move your hide faster than those black cabs can muster, give Special Wedding Cars a call.

4. Anti-bio-weapon Tesla?!

It’s really a wicked air filter for the vehicle, but Tesla’s “Bioweapon Defense Mode” does work. In a test that involved a bubble filled with air 83 times worse than the EPA’s “good” measured level, not only did the HEPA filtration system bring the air inside the vehicle to fresh, breathable levels, but it also cleaned the air outside, as well. It might not stave off nerve gas, but chances are good that as long as you keep the window up during pollen season, the Tesla will be your best buddy…next to the meds, of course.

5. The Buzz Killington of cars.

A team at the University of North Texas didn’t intend on building a portable mass spectrometer for the sole purpose of hunting out drug labs. The system, which is stuffed into a Ford Fusion, was meant to detect air quality. However, the system, which houses the equipment where the front passenger seat used to be and “sniffs” from near the passenger-side rear-view mirror, can detect chemical signatures a quarter-mile from the source and can pinpoint the exact location of where the funny business is at.