(We’re still disappointed this didn’t happen. -Ed.) Outside of a couple of STi-swapped examples that I’ve seen courtesy of Pacific Import Auto in Tacoma, Washington, a hot-rodded Subaru Forester isn’t quite what you come up with when it comes to Subaru’s wagon/crossover option. You might think of the Pacific Northwest rainforests, Labrador dogs that can drive, or maybe a farmer’s market followed by some flannel shopping. Foresters are bought for the whole crunchy granola, eco-friendly, nowhere near macho but capable off-road kind of feeling that is now echoed throughout the automotive spectrum. In other words, they aren’t anything we’d be ready to crow about anytime soon. Outside of the converted Foresters I’ve seen, which were badass, they do nothing for me.

But Subaru is aware that there are tuning fans who might look at a Forester and think that it’d be perfect if it didn’t remind them so much of a bowl of Kashi in the morning. At the Singapore Motor Show, it appeared that Subaru had an answer for that in the form of a late model Forester that had been lowered, tricked up and ready to be hard-parked at any car meet near you. That isn’t what we noticed about the machine, and it certainly isn’t what Top Gear Phillipines noticed, either. Need a hint? Look at the name of the vehicle:

Forester Ultimate Customized Kit Special.

Certainly, I don’t need to spell that out for you, do I? Congratulations to the marketing team that green-lit this, the viral response alone earned your pay for the next month. What you are looking at, really, is an STi-flavored Forester from the factory, lowered down on 20″ Enkei wheels, with darkened headlights and taillights, a soundsystem meant to thump, painted brake calipers and…well, we don’t quite know what’s under that hood, probably the standard 182 horsepower 2.5L boxer four and the Lineartronic CVT. So, unless we’re wrong about the powertrain, this is a tarted-up Forester with older glitz and no getup?

Maybe Subaru might be more invested to look at a hybrid form that uses the latest technology to extend out the range per tank. Call it the Forester Ultimate Customized Extended Range Special.