I freakin’ hate the “What car from the year you were born?” game. Why? 1983. Lohnes might have 1980, the pinnacle of suck, but I’ve got to deal with four-banger F-bodies, front-drive Chryslers that looked like chalkboard erasers and didn’t know what the word “turbo” could really do for their performance image, and the frog-eyed Ford EXP. With such lovely (ugh…) choices, instead of picking my favorite, I decided to choose eleven vehicles that are actually worth the time and effort. With plenty of mud thrown at this era of cars, there has to be room to look at the positives, right? Engine swaps are easy and encouraged, but the lines are classic and in some cases, starting to appreciate with hot-rodders. With that in mind, here’s my list:
11. GMC Caballero Diablo
Aside from being a GM G-body option and a true coupe utility, what reason is there to source the rare, obscure Caballero Diablo versus any El Camino? That’s easy: to irritate, annoy and infuriate anyone who gets offended at the name alone, let alone the “demon face in a flame job” hood graphic that almost looks spot on to the Pontiac Trans Am’s “Screamin’ Chicken” decal in shape. Oh, no, it’s that guy up the street with the redneck devil car. Hide your eyes, Sheryl…
10. Dodge Ram
The D/W-seres Dodge pickups were basically the same unit that came out in 1972, just squared off and cleaned up for 1981 and carried on more or less unchanged until 1993. For a four-wheel-drive pickup, it’d be hard to pass up a 360 powered Ram like the one pictured. No, there was no Cummins diesel for another six years, but a worked over 360 can handle it’s own. Just make sure it’s either painted black or Graphic Red, like this one.
9. Opel Manta
My Group B choice, the Manta is the one car I feel is screaming “LS SWAP ME!” hardest. Sorry to anyone who disagrees, but a light V8 with some grunt in a car that is meant to be bounding over hill and dale sounds like a fantastic time to me.
8. Toyota Supra
Another import candidate, the Supra has the 1980s sports car look down pat: hideaway headlights, sloped hatch rear, mild fender flares, and those neat X-pattern wheels. Whether it’s running the 2.7L straight six or packing a swap, tell me that there was a better looking Japanese import for ’83. I’m hard pressed to find a better looking car coming in from Japan even thirty-some years on.
7. Mercury Capri “Black Magic”
T-tops, black-and-gold paint scheme straight from the 1970s, meet the bubbleback Capri, in it’s debut year. A five-lug swap and some matching gold wheels that are not TRX-sized will pair nicely with some suspension work and a nitrous-enhanced 347 stroker. Disco, meet techno. And best part of all? It’s not a Mustang.
6. Chevrolet or GMC truck
Find me one good reason why a Rounded Line pickup shouldn’t be on this list. I’ll wait.
5. DeLorean DMC-12
Slower than the coming of Christmas, unlikely to hit 88 miles an hour unless Lohnes shoves one off of the Cliffs of Dover…why a DeLorean? Because even if it wasn’t a film star, it’s proportions and shape make for a very handsome sport coupe. Plus, there’s the added challenge of modifying a rear-engined car to actually perform like it’s Lotus-built chassis deserved.
4. American Motors Eagle SX/4
AMC knew they were in deep fertilizer by ’83. Some decisions, especially those that smelled of escargot, weren’t great. Others, like making a car that did just about everything under the sun, were. I’m still loving the idea of owning an Eagle SX/4. Part sporty hatchback, part Jeep without the need for a tribal tattoo and flat-billed baseball cap.
3. Jeep J-10
Say “Jeep” and the immediate picture is a CJ or Wrangler. Eff that. While I almost picked the CJ-8 Scrambler instead, the J-truck wins out for the ultimate Jeep pickup. It’s no nonsense blunt force, a true truck. Everything you need, nothing you don’t. Shame rust got so many of the FSJs over the years.
2. Hurst/Olds
Tape-stripe musclecars tend to be cringeworthy, but the 1983 Hurst/Olds was anything but. The 307 wasn’t much to rave about power-wise, but for the day it was plenty adequate, but just look at the car…the otherwise plain-jane Cutlass Calais body suddenly starts to echo an earlier era. The color choices are dead-on, and did we mention the Lightning Rods shifter yet? Easy selection.
1. Imperial coupe
Hey, I own it, don’t I? Here’s the thing with the Imperial: Lee Iacocca-era Chrysler really tried to do it right with the Imperial. They got Rockwell Collins to do the electronics, they attempted to fuel-inject the 318 in the name of fuel economy, they threw the kitchen sink at the interior in the name of luxury, and they managed to stay away from vinyl roofs and produced a surprisingly clean shape for a 1980s personal luxury coupe. (Look at a Seville to see what I mean.) Plus, that front-end shape is one of Chrysler’s better-looking nose cones, period. The luxury car kind of looked menacing at the right angles.
You forgot Monte Carlo SS. 1983 Was the first year for the G-bodied return of the Monte SS. Only available in white with blue stripes and white and blue interior.
Cool, I’ve got the ” redneck devil car” . And that’s the year my daughter was born, and I bought my house.
Sorry but they are all equally hideous!
I think that was the start of an era when American car makers started hitting everything with a giant ugly stick and the only good looking car of that bunch is in fact European.
And a lot of those got hit with the ugly stick when they tried to make them meet American bumper standards.
One Euro car that might be a good addition to that list is the BMW 635 – one of the best looking cars to wear the roundel, and one that didn’t get hosed by American bumper requirements.
You forgot the 1983 Corvette…. oh, wait… nevermind….
I can get behind this list, no doubt. These were all the cars that were new when I was starting to notice and love cars and the Supra was hands down one of my favorites. I’d add to the list the following – 1983 Monte Carlo SS, an engine swap away from being a beautiful boulevard bruiser. I had a thing for the black and gold Trans-Am of 83 vintage (piss off, I don’t care what you think). I dig the lines of the British Capri for 1983 as well, a engine swap away from making folks ask; WTF? The 1983 Mazda RX7 was a cute little car that I would not mind owning along with a Subaru Brat or AWD wagon. Lastly I had a deep love for the AMC Eagle Wagon sans tan paint and/or wood paneling.
Mercedes 300SD. This is the era when, for obvious reasons, US automakers were losing market share to foreign competition. Luxury, power and reliability — you know, the things we expected from the Big Three and weren’t getting? The 300SD puts the Imperial to shame, and that breaks my heart.
God how I love being born in 1966……
No way around it 80s car suck ass
Defiantly the 83 Monte SS. 83 was still when you could buy a full range of real big full frame GM cars too.