When Brian and Chad hired me on last year, I’m sure even they had a thought or two about what I might bring to the table. I’ve been known for my strange, slightly off-the-wall ideas and concepts. I can’t help it, automotive ADD can be a bitch to live with sometimes and it is a near-everyday occurrence that I dream up something well beyond my talent and means that could potentially be really cool, but might put off the everyday enthusiast. When I whip my neck around in traffic and yelp out something like, “That’s freaking awesome!”, it’s usually followed up by my wife’s “What the hell is that thing?” This is literally a list of what I’ve come up with this week that I’m putting up for the BangShifter sniff test. I’m sure you’ll let me know if they pass or not.

11. Cummins Diesel International Scout Traveler

It’s a truck that balances old and new nicely. Everything you need, nothing you don’t, with a strong diesel and stout running gear. Shame, really, that any Scout I see from this era is either a rotted shell or restored and worth a ton of cash.

10. 4.3L-powered Geo Tracker

I view Trackers as a great alternative to a UTV. A Polaris RZR is cool, don’t get me wrong, but I can tag and title a Tracker in all fifty states. Plus, with a 4.3 V6 out of an S-10, it should scoot along quite nicely. I just have to figure out what color I’m going to paint over the tropical early 1990s colors with.

9. 1000cc riding mower/kart hybrid

Because why the f**k not. I could use some excitement in my life, and having my buttcheeks a quarter-inch up from the pavement at triple-digit speeds should add plenty. Or, at least, it’ll give me a more reasonable amount of self-preservation instinct.

8. Toyota Camry Coupe daily driver/MPG achiever/autocrosser

I can see the pitchforks and torches glowing on this one, so let me explain. This generation of Camry is an automotive cockroach in the best sense: this is the car you think of when the phrase “Japanese Quality” is uttered. They are sewing machines that run forever if you can maintain them properly. Some suspension work and a wheel-tire combo on a four-banger five-speed coupe, and that makes for a tolerable daily driver. And the MPG numbers would be worth it.

7. International 4900 ramp truck with sleeper created from a school bus

Cut at the first emergency exit window, enclose cabin, add ramp system. Make windows disappear, add bed and luxuries as you see fit.

6. A “Krass and Bernie”-style ute pickup based upon the Raven Imperial

I love the idea, but since cutting up a 1969 Charger would have Mopar-loving hit men at my doorstep in sixteen seconds, try this: random half-ton Dodge frame, Imperial nose, Aspen wagon body cut to ute specs with a small stretch, powered by a 360/five speed, with full Imperial interior, set up as a heavy-half ton hauler.

5. Dodge Aspen sedan “War Car”

This Aspen is for sale near me right now. I’m not going to get it, but looking at it made me want another “War Car”. A War Car is a Death Race car without the jokes, a Mad Max vehicle with more realistic violence, the kind of thing that would scare the bad and good guy in a post-apocalyptic setting. Go nuts with this one…I’m thinking a spiked cowcatcher bumper that should keep moronic college kids laser-focused on their phones from running out in front of the car.

4. Datsun 620 longbed pickup with 240Z running gear

This is a project that won’t get out of my head, and the only concept here I’ve actually seen and driven. Keep it as clean as the truck above and go hunting.

3. 1976 Pontiac GTO Phantom based upon Ventura Sprint

It’s pretty much a given that the Pontiac Can Am was truly meant to be the Pontiac GTO “The Judge” reincarnate, but let’s take a skewed view on history for a second: the GTO nameplate had migrated to the Ventura. Let’s say it continued on past 1974. Use the beak-nosed ’76, add Trans Am components to the front subframe, the 6.6L 400 out of the current Trans Am, a decklid spoiler similar to the Can Am’s, and the lowly Ventura could have been just fine.

2. Shelby Lancer GTS LSR

This is simply a just-because exercise for a car nobody seems to really pay attention to. The turbocharged 2.2 four has potential, the five-door shape lends itself well to the air, and with the car gutted and prepped for racing, weight shouldn’t be an issue.

1. RWD-converted Ford EXP

Use Pinto/Mustang II parts: 2.3L turbocharged four, a T5 transmission, narrowed 8.8 rear axle, and stick it under the strangest Ford design since the Edsels, and I think the tiny little 2+2 could be an entertaining rocket. It would certainly be unique.