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Unhinged: Look, But Do Not Touch!


Unhinged: Look, But Do Not Touch!

In the upcoming Fast 8 movie, there is a scene where “the family” of gearheads is walked into a garage of dreams by Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham). Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) goes full-on drop-jawed: “…no, really, what is this place?” and is answered by Tej (Ludacris) properly: “It’s heaven.” To be honest, I haven’t seen the rest of the clip that shows the movie cars…it’s skinned over by a Dodge advertisement, but I know the feeling well. Walking into a warehouse of cars that would make all but the most jaded gearhead stop for a moment in disbelief has to be like the scene in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, when the kids first enter the all-candy room as Gene Wilder stares off into space and starts singing about imagination. You don’t know where to start first but you know you want to start roaming the rows upon rows of cars. You want to know what is on hand, what options they have, how good of a condition they are in, how frightening the price tags truly are. You want your senses to experience what is essentially forbidden fruit.

Ok, that might be a bit poetic, but here’s the reality: there is an office of Gateway Classic Cars in LaVergne, Tennessee, near Nashville, and for a few months now, I’ve wanted to stop in and check out their selection. GCC is one of those warehousing/consignment style eBay sellers that facilitates sales of pretty much anything that might capture a collector’s fancy in the world of automobiles under soon to be fifteen roofs across the United States, and they sell the world over. Nothing would be within my price range, but I was okay with that…I was just there to look. I wouldn’t be writing this if I had magically appeared back at home with the news that the Chrysler had been traded for a 1970 Olds 442 droptop. The doctors wouldn’t have put my arms back together yet. The building is virtually nondescript on the outside, just a warehouse in an industrial district. But stepping inside, it’s something else altogether. Cody, one of my two guides for the day, laid down the ground rules: “China shop rules apply, and if you want to take a closer look at one of the cars, just ask.” And with that, I was turned loose.

The selection was amazing. From the 1926 Buick on one side to the 428CJ Torino on the other, and everything in-between, it was a struggle to find something that I wasn’t into. Many cars called my name: a Kenne Bell-blown 2000 Dodge Ram done up as a sport truck, a 1980 Trans Am packing nearly 600 horsepower, a five-speed, and looks that would stop a car show in it’s tracks, a Plymouth Satellite done up as a very convincing Road Runner tribute. Car to car, I walked, absorbing the smells of the leather of a 1951 Bentley sedan, admiring the depth of the paint on a 1971 Chevrolet CST/10 pickup, or dreaming about the trouble I could get into with the 1969 Mustang Mach 1. But one car, above all others, grabbed my attention:

gateway3This is the 1981 American Motors Eagle wagon that Rutledge Wood and George Flanigen built up on the show Lost in Transmission. Short description: they converted the car to two-wheel drive, fitted Ford Mustang suspension pieces and jammed in a 302 and a T-5 under the hood. Is it like meeting a hero? No. But it is a car that, for better or worse, has intrigued me ever since I watched the episode where they built it, so I wanted to check it out and see if it lived up to expectation.

To be fair: There is actually a lot about the Eagle that I didn’t like. The paint isn’t that great, the interior is a mix of new bits and pure Malaise engineering, and the flip-forward hood this thing has requires a five-point plan and small fingers to open. And we will nevermind that a 1980s Eagle is a damn small car on the inside when there is no tilt wheel…the steering wheel threatened major damage if I moved wrong, and that was with the seat all the way back. But the shifter for the T-5 is magical in placement and feel, the whole car feels light and taut, and when the car was fired up…wow. No Ford mill I’ve ever heard sounds quite like that. Truthfully, the Eagle’s bark sounded more like a cammed-up 304 than any 5.0 I’ve ever heard. And just to quench my automotive weirdness…the key-in buzzer works. (Don’t ask, I know I’ve got issues.)

gateway2

Like I said, every car is out of my price range here, but that didn’t stop me from killing off enough time that my wife called and asked where I was out of concern. Even the staff noticed…one gentleman working on a Pontiac Fiero looked over and noted, “You’ve been here for a while now, haven’t you?” When you’re head is swimming with ideas, plans and dreams, yeah…you can kill a few hours without meaning to.


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One thought on “Unhinged: Look, But Do Not Touch!

  1. Gump

    All those beautiful cars, and you are attracted to an Eagle? Youre a sick man. This car was featured not long ago here for sale wasnt it?

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