You don’t know the name Frank Billington IV, and that’s ok. I’ve known him since late 2000, because he was the owner and moderator of the first automotive forum I ever joined, Farley’s Page, a site for Chrysler M-body enthusiasts. Frank had started the page in honor of his 1979 Dodge Diplomat sedan, which oddly enough is still around (owned by another guy I know in New Mexico). Frank got out of the forum thing a few years back, but he’s still a car guy at heart, as well as a utility worker, firefighter, and family man. Frank is one of those guys whose positive personality existed on both the web and in real life.
In 2009 I helped him by a 1979 LeBaron sedan by proxy for him, and when the rear end went out on him I gave him one out of a Gran Fury I was parting out. Since then he’s maintained a low presence, restoring and taking care of a 1970 American LaFrance firetruck and taking care of his kids as much as he can. Cars have taken a bit of a backseat, but the man’s wit certainly has not.
Frank’s current daily beater is a white 1991 Daihatsu Charade. The last time I ever saw one of these things was back when they were a prize on a long-forgotten game show, and I can’t think of the last time I saw one in person. They are rinky-dink in total and make a Geo Metro look rather welcoming by comparison. (Sorry, Frank, but it’s the truth!) But sometimes a tiny gas-sipper makes sense. His car, his decision, and to wear a Daihatsu out on the daily grind instead of something with more value sounds perfectly logical to me. But the problem comes when people see you driving one. It’s one thing to expect to catch flack from your buddies, but random people on the street shooting their mouth off is another deal entirely. The next part is all Frank:
“This is my awesome car, a 220,000 mile 3-cylinder 1991 Diahatsu Charade. Yesterday, while in a parking lot, a kid perhaps 12 years old, who was sitting next to his parent in an adjacent fancy SUV while wearing his hat sideways and looking down at me, attempted a snide “hey man, nice car!” I almost ignored him, but no. I took off my sunglasses, looked him in the eyes, and said “It’s like this. My wife is super hot, we’ve been married 22 years, and she’s borne me six children. Clearly I don’t need to drive a gold-encrusted Escalade in order to compensate for any shortcomings or insecurities in that department. It gets 35 miles per gallon, insurance is cheap, and it’s paid off, which means lots more money left for hot dates with my smokin’ hot wife.” I put my shades back on, “Yep, this car is awesome,” and drove away. Go home and cry in your cereal, and sorry about your crappy parent, bro.”
You win, sir.
My kinda guy. My wife bought me a brand new Yugo in ’91, so I’d stop riding my ZX10 Ninja to work when it was snowing or freezing rain outside. It was a great little car, kind of like the original beetles. Except front engine, driven, and water cooled. But a basic, have a blast and don’t worry about it car. I’ve said time and again, if you can’t have fun driving a Yugo, you’re not really a car enthusiast, because you can be out there just rippin’ in the thing, and nobody else even knows it. Driving little, underpowered cars like that teach you some good energy management techniques.
But back to the point, I’m 61 years old, now, and yeah, I’ve still got a smokin’ hot wife, of 26+ years, and I don’t need bling or anything else on my daily driver to impress anyone. The fact that my daily driver is a 360/904/83/4 powered tiny little Plymouth Arrow pickup, that I’ve yet to even find one “Car” guy be able to properly identify, only sweetens the deal…
2 people in that Yugo= Wego
Great comeback Frank to the little shit in the SUV.
Back in the late ’80’s I worked for a Toyota dealer while in college who added a Daihatsu store to his portfolio. We put 10 of these little cars into our rental fleet. They would always be the last cars rented, with people asking to be switched into a Toyota, Nissan, Ford or anything else we had.
It takes a confident, self assured man to ride around in a car that looks like it was just pinched off.
as i have started telling people recently, i have 2 Honda minivans, 2 long-haired chihuahuas, and i vacation in my back yard to de-compensate for my enormous penis.
I still have the ’79 LeBaron. Tried unsuccessfully to literally give it away for years now, and it has been sitting pretty much the whole time. Been so long that my oldest son has reached driving age and wants it as his own car. I go out and start it up about once a year and it still runs smooth. Gotta get a little hitch in its giddyap resolved in the transmission, get the tags current, and it’ll be on the road soon. And you go ahead and pick on my Diahatsu all you want with Geo Metro comparisons Bryan…. clearly I don’t care! Thanks for the kind words, peace out!
I’d actually really like a small Dihatsu or Tercel to DD in place of my Corolla.
It’d be cheap to own and light enough to flat-tow behind my 4-banger pickup.
Yes, I do know that name, as one of my longtime close friends, but had never heard this story before. Thanks for sharing it here, as he’s now shared it with his facebook friends. 🙂