In case you weren’t beaten over the head over and over about how there will be a total eclipse of the Sun early this afternoon, there will be a bit of shade for you to enjoy courtesy of the Moon. As I type these words, I could care less if it happens or not. Actually, that’s not correct…after driving through three states’ worth of eclipse-viewer traffic back home from Detroit, I personally hope rainstorms hit the area just after lunch.

Look, nothing against science, nothing against space, and nothing against the actual event. I appreciate all of it. But I’ve been hearing nothing but eclipse-this, eclipse-that for months now. It doesn’t help that BangShift Mid-West is right on the path of totality. Farmers are mowing down hay fields and are charging an arm and leg to rent out camper space. Eclipse-viewing glasses have been a hot commodity for months here. I may go take a look if the sky is clear, but once it’s over…that’s it.

Really, if you want to get me excited about any kind of Eclipse, I’ll take mine in GSX trim, black, five-speed and unmodified, please. Forget the “Danger to Manifold” car…there’s a reason why the second-gen Mitsu made it as a star car for the Fast and Furious franchise. It was an affordable sport coupe that packed enough grunt to be more than just a little bit entertaining, and with all-wheel-drive, was somewhere between a front-drive sports coupe and a full-fledged rally rocket. Shame most of them were driven into the dirt over the last twenty-something years…