The weather has turned frightful…and by frightful, I mean that the rather mild winter we had been enjoying here has suddenly decided to sympathize with the Northeast and has turned into frozen hell. The day prior, knowing that this storm was inevitable and learning that it would indeed be bad, I decided that it would be a good time to pick up some basics for the vehicles from the store. I may or may not use it, but I’d rather have it on hand.

I first hit the store early in the morning. It’s beautiful and sunny out…though colder than my ex-wife’s heart…and there is plenty. I buy some deicer, some salt for the sidewalks, and wish Store Manager luck. Not two hours later my wife calls and asks if I’ll pick up more deicer. Sure, why not? There was plenty when I left the place…

Walking into the store for the second time was like a scene from a movie where people are preparing for the apocalypse. Ice scrapers-gone. Wiper blades-going. And I saw the last two cans of deicer sitting on the shelves, hidden behind a jug of diesel oil. I don’t know who thought they were going to be cute, but if they weren’t in somebody’s basket or hands, they were open game. I picked them up and darted back into the warehouse section. Store Manager sees the cans in my hand and immediately goes into panic mode: “You can’t buy those! Those are our last two cans! We’re having to ration this stuff out until the delivery truck gets here with more!”

You’re kidding, right? Look, I understand supply and demand. I understand demand stripped supply clean and is now growing impatient with the “sorry, we’re fresh out” line. But if it’s for sale, it is for sale, and it’s not for you to play Hide and Seek with in the damn store! Besides, the rationing started after I left in the morning…technically, even if rationing was something more than a BS excuse, I’m still entitled to my first purchase!  Store managers, do yourself and the buying public a favor…watch the news, watch the local weather, and prepare. Don’t try to tell me that I’m rationed to one can of deicer. This isn’t World War II. Your lack of planning doesn’t mean that your emergency is going to be MY emergency.

So bring on the snow. I’ll be in front of my fireplace, warm, playing Grand Theft Auto and if I absolutely have to go outside, I know that I’ll be fine and prepared. To everyone else who didn’t take time to prepare, good luck, suckers.