Earlier this weekend we showed you the incredible video of Larry Dixon losing a rear tire, spinning a full 360, and hitting absolutely nothing during a run at an Australian drag racing event. Claytons News Service in Australia has released the transcript of an interview with Dixon shortly after the incident and it is an astonishing read. During his conversation with the reporter, Dixon claimed that he lost control of his bladder momentarily, screamed at such a high pitch his helmet visor shattered, and used “the Force” to guide the car back into the proper lane to bring it safely to a halt.

“Look, to be honest with you, I totally whizzed my suit out there,” Dixon said. “Can you friggin’ blame me? I mean seriously. Watch the tape. That was the craziest that has ever happened at a drag race…like ever. We’re talking Gary Busey, scary eyes, OOGA BOOGA-crazy.” When the reporter pressed Dixon on his irrigation of the racing suit, the NHRA legend said, “I think the reason I peed a little as because I was screaming so loudly with my eyes closed. I was concentrating so hard on the scream, squeezing my eyelids shut, and protecting “the goods” (at which point he was pointing to his face), that I just forgot that I had to pee and let it go. The seat is carbon fiber and it dries really fast. The driver’s suit is a 20 layer so it’ll be dry by next month some time.” The reporter than noticed the shattered visor on Dixon’s helmet and inquired about how that happened Dixon responded with a laugh. “When I was a kid I always thought about joining the choir at school. There were some cute girls in there, you know? Anyway, when the car started spinning around, I let a falsetto note rip that only dogs may have been capable of hearing. The frequency shattered my visor almost instantly. In a different situation it would probably be something to brag about….or maybe not. I’m still trying to figure out how I didn’t hit anything.” That statement led the reporter to another question involving Dixon’s “save” of the car, keeping it off the walls and regaining control when the machine only had three wheels. “Yeah, I saved that thing. I had a handle on it the whole time. Just like I planned it,” Dixon said with confidence. “Look, it took all of like four seconds to happen but I called upon every person who has ever inspired me, including Yoda. He actually appeared and told me to use the Force to steer the car back into my lane except he said it in that weird Yoda way that is like English with the words out of order. It took a second for me to figure it out and I hit a couple timing blocks.” Dixon wanted to thank the other driver for blowing his car up and not T-boning him during the wild slide, “Yeah, it was righteous for that dude to grenade his car like a North Korean rocket in the other lane. If he had come through the side of my car, I’d have done a lot worse than a little whizz in the suit….if you know what I mean.”

At that point the interview was cut short as Dixon’t team told him that they’s be heading back to the staging lanes in two hours for another run. As he walked off he could be heard to scream at the team, “YOU EXPECT ME TO GET BACK IN THAT THING TODAY?! DOES ANYONE HAVE A HAIR DRYER?”