Every few months someone on Craigslist let’s an ad fly that knocks us on our keister in the best way possible. This time it is a guy in Providence, Rhode Island selling a Dodge Viper because he is afraid of it and he swears that the car is out to kill him. Vipers have long been known as unforgiving monsters and apparently the seller had one close call too many and has decided to parts ways with the black Viper before it has the chance to kill him again.
We literally have nothing to add, you’ve gotta read the ad below. It is amazing.
HERE’S THE CL AD FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE IN CASE IT GETS PULLED
It is VERY powerful. Extremely, EXTREMELY fast.
I’ve driven Ferrari’s that don’t feel as crazy as this thing. I am frankly afraid of it now.
That’s right. It’s in my garage and I’m afraid to drive it because it’s like a crazy steroid bull that wants to kill me.
I’ve done 130 mph on a Ducati while laughing into the face of death. The viper is a completely different bowl of crack. The engine sounds like 40 pit bulls eating kittens while lifting weights.
I cannot truly explain it’s power. It has whiplash acceleration in 3rd gear at 50mph. That sentence doesn’t even make sense. But it’s true.
That’s why I’m telling you. I will not have your soul on my conscience.
You need to know what you are getting into. What insane level of crazy you are buying.
Can you resist the urge to mash down the accelerator? Can you? Because it’s like owning your own demon. A demon that wants to kill you. We all know one person that for the right amount of money would kill you. But since no one is paying, they smile in your face and go about their day.
It’s like that except the Viper doesn’t bother to ever pretend it doesn’t want to kill you.
And it will do it for free.
Some brilliant engineer designed a beautiful sexy bulging body, fantastic suspension, great handling, aerodynamics, and all American style. While he was out on his lunch break, some demented maniac dropped 100 times more engine power than necessary into it and sent it out the door. It’s mentally unbalanced.
Look,
If you are the type of person that can be talked into having one more drink at midnight when you have a very important presentation or interview early the next morning, then the Viper is not for you.
The whole car is constantly whispering sweet lies to you.
“You got this”.
“Open me up and ride free, you got this”
“What are you a pussy?”
“Just do it”, “Do it”, “you got this”.
Do not do it. You don’t got it. You ARE in fact a pussy. And as we all know, pussy is mad good. But not that good.
You will sit on the curb and settle your heart after it tries to kill you the first time.
You will get back inside and it will immediately get back to the business of trying to get you to let it murder you.
“You got this. This time you know. That last time was just a fluke. You ain’t no pussy”.
Repeat after me.
You
Don’t
Got
This.
But for $30k you can look the devil in the eye and take this ride.
You were warned.
The Viper RT/10 Roadster has a 6-speed transmission! 11400 Super low miles!
2D – Transmission: 6-Spd Manual – Engine: V10, 8.0 Liter – Mileage: 11400 – ExtColor: Black – IntColor: Cognac – Features: Air Conditioning,Power Steering,Power Windows,Tilt Wheel,AM/FM Stereo,CD (Single Disc),ABS (4-Wheel),Leather,Premium Wheels.
CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL CRAIGSLIST AD FOR THIS DODGE VIPER
“The Viper is completely different bowl of crack”.
That’s what this nutter’s been smoking when he wrote the advert….
Well the post has been removed. Someone is going to try to tame this beast.
I’d love to have a Viper but I’d be sleeping in it if I bought one.
Clarkson\’s video review of the Viper was classic. It\’s like a hatchet wielding madman when you push it hard. I really want one.
It looks in nice condition for its age, low mileage. There is no mention of HP or modifications to make it into the scary beast that is supposedly is. Or it could be all hype. The early Vipers were said to be quite nasty and crude right out of the box. I have not tried one but I am more of a Corvette person. Pussy!!!
I own a Gen 3 Viper and they are amazing and crazy cars and they will kill you just like the ad says if you don’t know what you are doing. The Viper has none of the ” nannies ” that all other cars have to keep the unthinking masses from killing themselves. Stock all 500 Horsepower is available instantly and most people just don’t have the skills to manage that without stability control and traction control working in the background to save their behinds. Love the ad and would shake the persons hand that wrote it for being so upfront and honest.
I believe him. Remember he’s warning you so his conscience is clear when you find the leash for the pitbulll doesn’t exactly fit this snake. He’s not saying you have to have iron testicals to buy or drive it, he’s saying you better have paid life insurance. Lot’s of people park the new acquisition in the garage and wax it, drive it to “Cars n Coffee” and say they have an animal under control. It is when they muster the courage, get in and ride this beast to the edge, that they will be over…