Come this Saturday, the Dirty Cougar will face down NCM Motorsports Park for Round 3 of this season’s King of the Heap series. I’ve had fun bringing the forlorn Mercury up to snuff, and I’ve made good on my promise that I’d daily-drive the car for a bit before we sent it…it’s actually decent. Not perfect, but decent. Driving to and from a town an hour away gave me no fits whatsoever, just rolling along in the frigid air with the heater on and the radio blaring out the tunes. But we didn’t buy the car to save and make pretty. If it survives KOTH, we might move on to that next step, or we might go ahead and boot it out of the yard ASAP. We’ll cross that bridge if we get there.

I’ve gotten a couple of questions about whether or not I’m actually going to give the Mercury everything I’ve got at the track. I’ve put a lot of work into the car…ten times what it took to get the Cadillac limo up and going. Does that mean that I’ll dial back the effort? Will I take it easy on the newest member of the fleet? I don’t think so. But just in case I start feeling sorry for the Mercury, I can look at this video for some inspiration. This Ford LTD Crown Victoria makes the Cougar look absolutely mint by comparison…the body rot says it all. Dirt cheap, unloved, and has enough V8 power to be interesting. Not enough to be that much fun, though…right? You be the judge of that, because Derek here is going to go throw this thing around a rallycross course with the intent of seeing the rods sticking out of the block. First gear, wide-effin’-open, and not one ounce of pity for the Panther.

The thing is…he says he failed in his mission. Watch and see if you feel the same way.