King Of The Heap Season 3, Round 1: Beat It With A Jack Handle Until It Cooperates Again!


King Of The Heap Season 3, Round 1: Beat It With A Jack Handle Until It Cooperates Again!

Rolling into NCM Motorsports Park for the first round of the 2019/2020 King of the Heap season, we were immediately greeted with air that had a tinge of burnt oil, the smell of roasting brake pads, and the unheeded cries for mercy from the Uniroyal Tiger Paws that were getting treated with the utmost disrespect possible. It was a homecoming, let’s be honest. And with our later-than-normal arrival due to not having a car…and not getting to bed until almost four in the morning…we missed quite a bit of calamity, like a Celica that scattered it’s guts so badly that a five-gallon bucket was roped in to put the chunks into. But there was still plenty of mechanical bad news to deal with. Samir’s V6 S197 Mustang, which has been at most of the events, was still turning coolant into absolutely nothing, with no trace of it to be found. The Dodge Neon that Brian Mason was wheeling had a very talkative CV joint and at one point required some kind of prodding…or poking…or straight-up grievous assault at the front of the engine with a jack handle. And the Mercury Cougar that MCR Tuning replaced the Contour SVT Superleggera with was hosing brake fluid out of the lines with a very sickening hiss noise when the center pedal was pressed. I’m not sure what they did to fix it, but I have a sneaking suspicion it involved a pair of Vice Grips just after the metering block.

Outside of a Lincoln LS that was running not-approved rubber, the teams went through a relatively warm day with minimal incidents and maximum track time. The next event is scheduled for January 4th, 2020, so there is still plenty of time for you to scour Facebook Marketplace for a rusty, crusty car to flog on with reckless abandon! Come on out and join the rest of us at the track! What else are you going to do…continue to nosh on leftover New Year’s Eve snacks?


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