(By Greg Rourke) – Many cars for sale on many different forums have been featured on these hallowed pages over the years. This car is without question the most boring car with perhaps the most clever ad.
The 1999 Toyota Corolla was strictly a Point A To Point B vehicle. With minimal maintenance they were as reliable as an anvil and just as stylish. The seller here touts these facts with perhaps a bit of embellishment. He notes it was once making a strange sound, he ignored it, and it just went away. He also feels it will run on Nutella but that may be a stretch. The gray on gray livery would be perfect for blending into traffic should you choose this ride as a getaway car.
The original ad has been taken down, no doubt the car sold in short order. Fortunately for us an alert Craigslist user has saved it for posterity.
With lines like this you cannot go wrong:
Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn’t give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.
You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up.
This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.
Things this car is old enough to do:
Vote: yes
Consent to sex: yes
Rent a car: it IS a car
Blast the mouse button here to see the archived original listing!
OK enough is enough. Why does this `Toyotas are reliable MYTH’ keep getting perpetuated? EVERY Toyota I’ve ever had anything to do with has been a bland unreliable shitbox. I’ve owned one, never again but the missus has owned a few, her idiot brother loves Celicas and I’ve known a dozen friends and others who’ve owned them. The common factor is – they all have zero interest in cars, so when these boring little turds of cars go wrong they assume that its just part of the great circle of life and they either get a mechanic or some poor sod who’s into cars to make them work again. My wife’s Celica went wrong more times than any car should – 2 engine rebuilds, 4 transmissions, 2 computers, endless CV joints, front driveshafts etc etc etc – and through it all she sang the Toyota’s are reliable mantra. Folks, it is utter bullshit.
To be fair, they suffer from the same problem that a lot of beige boxes do: They’re driven by people who don’t give a shit about cars, and don’t understand that they need basic care.
This is the same problem with almost any entry-level car.
The performance stuff is considered to be much more unreliable, partially because it gets driven much harder, partially because horsepower is a measure of how fast you can break stuff, and partially because enthusiast cars are purchased by enthusiasts…. who are nitpicky bastards and will point out when something’s wrong.
Doesn’t mean there’s not the occasional lemon on any given lot, though.
BRILLIANT!