We’re as patriotic as they come around here so when we see something that fellow patriotic Americans would surely like to own, we pass it right along. Thanks for tipster Mark Walsh we have photos and a Craigslist link to the truck you see above and below. This is a 1988 Ford Ranger that has been “customized” into something straight out of a horror movie. Ok, maybe not a horror movie but it certainly looks like it was born in a mad scientists laboratory. The good news is that mad scientist loved the hell out of America and he let everyone know it with the paint scheme employed on the (literally) defaced Ranger.
We’re not really sure where to start on this thing. The nose it probably the best place because clearly there is a LOT of bondo involved, unless this is all done in metal and then there is just a lot of hours involved in shaping and forming things like the headlight buckets, the grill area, and the massive front air dam bumpery thing. We really have no idea why that thing has a presence on the truck other than to bash into the curbs you cannot see in front of you. The “tri-portal” rear window is also unique and thankfully it cuts down on that pesky rear visibility that people hate so much. Looking out the back window has always been an annoyance of ours so this makes it a big waste of time and we like that.
The paint scheme features lots of American themes from the stars and stripes down the side of the truck to the really pissed off bald eagle on the area that was formerly a tailgate. Is is possible that the eagle is so pissed because he’s actually on this truck and cannot escape? We’re thinking that may be the case. Put him on a sweet Corvette and he’s have a totally different attitude. In a move to balance the symmetry of the truck there is a massive wing on the back of the bed. We’re pretty sure that if you build something like this, the law requires you to have a wing on it. It is kind of an identifier that you need to have with you like your driver’s license.
This seller is asking for $1,000. If you had the money lying around and wanted to do something fun with this truck what would it be? Jumps, crashes, entering it into as many car shows as possible and living up the role, or would it be useful on the shooting range?
HIT THE LINK BELOW TO SEE THE CL AD FOR THIS TRUCK!
I was ready to launch into the horrible front on this – until I saw that spoiler… my god when did Fisher Price start doing car accessories?? I mean, its wonderful that blind people get to work on cars too but the dude’s seeing eye dog needs retraining. This is truly horrible.
Kill it quick before it breeds.
Glad they picked a long bed. A short bed would have been ugly.
The eagle on the tailgate seems to be thinking “One day I’m going to get off this tailgate and peck that mother’s guts out!”
This guy probably STILL wears diapers – judging by the Fisher Price body kit…..
There’s NOTHING American about this …….this……this….
KEEP ON TRUCKIN’ IN THE FREE WORLD