For those of you defeatist jerks out there who read the headline and said, “No you moron, it would END my marriage,” I am honestly disappointed in you. Not as disappointed as the time you admitted to knowing the lyrics to the Taylor Swift songs, but we’re verging on that. Look, my wife, your wife, your girlfriend, or whoever you are latched onto likely opines for more of your time so that you can “do things together”. How is this not the ultimate “doing things together move. Your life and the lives of everyone around you is dependent on your ability to drive the tractor or steer the ladder here. That is high stakes poker and that is the stuff that really keeps relationships going strong.
“Fine, why don’t YOU just buy it, then?” That’s what you are asking me? I like fire trucks, I love tow trucks, I have a tow truck. Don’t be all nervy about worrying where to park it because you’ll find the room or you will make it. Back it into your driveway and leave half of it blocking the street. That’s not a problem because you would then just run the flashing lights all night with a small sign that says, “fire detour” at the end of your street… every single night. People would suspect nothing, trust me.
The first time you saved a cat from a tree, peed down the neighbors chimney, or clamored your way onto the roof of the neighborhood beer store to get in after hours, you’d be a hero to your family and all of your friends. Hell, you could basically lift yourself to a tenth story window to deliver heartfelt messages to people. Forget a singing telegram, imagine the income potential of the “fire-gram”. Lift yourself up, blast the window out with the hose and then give someone a plastic fireman’s hat with some nice message in it. That’s gold right there.
The truck has five headsets, an intercom, pikes, poles, spare tires, and ladders, What more could you freaking want. Oh yeah, lights, sirens, and a STEERING WHEEL AT THE BACK TO DRIVE THE LADDER. That is the most important part. I would never let my wife drive the ladder, I would always be back there because it is the coolest. I would also blame her when we crashed into things but that’s just the type of person that I am. Engine? There is no specifics given in the spartan ad but I’ll tell you it is more than likely one big son-of-a-bitch of a diesel.
So the moral of the story here is that if your wife/girlfriend/partner/lifelike facsimile of a human/dog that talks, is begging you for more time together buy this truck and do it. You cannot operate it alone. Ok, you can but do not tell them that if they don’t understand fire trucks. Work as a team everywhere and buy this truck. It’ll save your marriage or at least finish the job of blowing it apart. Your mileage may vary.
CHECK OUT THE PHOTOS AND THEN HIT THE EBAY LINK!
eBay link: 1988 Pierce hook and ladder fire truck
