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Barnstormin’: I’m a Clunker-holic


Barnstormin’: I’m a Clunker-holic

I can’t say that I pride myself on being a champion of the environment or even really ever going out of my way to save trees, dolphins, owls, or any other limited edition woodland creature. What I can say is that I like old things and by way of that, I’m not someone who buys a lot of new things that consume resources like dolphins, owls, and limited edition woodland creatures. Recently I took a look around and saw just how much of my stuff is second hand. I was totally surprised to find that virtually all of the stuff I really like has been owned by someone else, and more accurately, was once someone’s trash.

That sounds like a nightmare and you’re already getting a mental picture that looks like something out of a horror movie, but hear me out on this. I have decent stuff, it’s used stuff, but it is decent. If the government’s nightmarish “Cash For Clunkers” program were expanded in some Orwellian fashion (and somehow I seem to think that’s something that could actually happen) future hot rodders will not have access to the good junk that I did and that most of us have in our time as tinkering recyclers.

My lawn tractor, a 1970s vintage Wheel Horse, was advertised on CraigsList as scrap metal. Naturally, I was broke at the time. My wife and I had just purchased our house and I had always wanted a lawn tractor. I drove out to find a heap of tractor parts sitting under a tarp in the “seller’s” driveway. After looking it over and judging that at least 75 percent of the parts were there (all the necessary stuff none of those “extra” parts that accumulate while assembling things) I loaded all the pieces into a work van and drove home. In the span of a weekend I had my lawn tractor and in some small way saved a woodland creature by stopping the potential construction of a new tractor that I would have bought.

My Worthington tractor was purchased for a song and my father and I dragged it out of a field on Cape Cod a couple winters ago. It was going to be sent to the scrap metal pile and meet the fate of the smelter had we not swooped in and saved it. I was able to get it working and running like a top with the purchase of about twenty bucks worth of parts. I use the machine to plow my driveway in the winter and to joy ride around my neighborhood. That act of mechanical recycling kept one more snowblower from being produced and helped out the environment in that respect.

The drill press I have in my wee little basement shop was literally extracted from a dumpster and with the repair of the plug and a cleaning of the brushes in the motor, works better than most of the brand new stuff that is produced off shore. Then there’s the brand new 8hp engine that’ll find its way onto a go kart chassis at some point which was headed to the dump, the old ‘Stude, and of course the Jav and its well used 360ci AMC mill.

We live in a world that now defines a “Clunker” as anything that is not in perfect working order, which is wasteful and frustrating. We have devalued a knowledge and skill set that people used to prize. The ability to fix and repair stuff was for generations passed down from fathers to sons (or daughters…but mostly sons). As time wore on less and less of that knowledge was filtering down and here we are today. We’re in a place that puts more value on how quickly something can be replaced than how easily it can be repaired.

Recently I was looking at a website about Studebakers in Cuba. They are still being used as daily transportation by the thousands. Putting all the political mess aside, I’m going to assume the guys wrenching on those Studebakers would be sickened to see late model cars that 99 percent of their population (or most world populations) would kill to have being killed and crushed in the name of some twisted belief that it is helping the environment. It is an absolute shame and boondoggle that the masses have bought into because they lack even the basic understanding of how a car works. It is a program that thrives on the ignorance of those advocating it.

What’s a guy to do? The simple answer is the one I’ll give and live by. Pass down your natural curiousity, teach your skill set to any kid that will listen, and above all keep your eyes open for clunkers. Chances are that if you are reading this column, those clunkers will be your treasures.

 


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