Story time: I owned a Buick Regal GS just like this between 2005 and early 2009. I loved the car to death, and I never, ever would’ve suspected that I would. I traded a 2001 Dodge Ram 1500 in for it right about the time gas prices started to tap into the $2.00 range, and I started to panic over the amount of fuel that the Ram was slamming at the time. The goal vehicle was something two-door, manual trans and easy on gas. I was hoping for something like a Dodge Stratus R/T or maybe a clean Ford Escort ZX2…nothing radical or obnoxious, I had my four-speed Diplomat for fun and shenanigans. I needed something responsible and frugal. But the salesman at Tacoma Dodge had a different plan. He insisted that I give the Regal a shot. I saw the silver paint, the “Joseph Abboud” package and I just kind of sighed…fine, okay, let’s do a lap around the Tacoma Mall and get it over with.

Exiting onto Interstate 5 from 38th Street, the sales guy hit a button on the console, a button I didn’t pay the least bit attention to. And as soon as I straightened up, he started urging me on: “FLOOR IT! Floor it now! To the carpet! Do it!” Seriously, dude? Are you kidding me right now? Normal, responsible me would’ve just ignored him. That day, I was so annoyed about him pushing this Buick on me that I obliged him and went straight to the floor…and proceeded to stripe the on-ramp with tire smoke pouring from the fenders. Holy shit…how much again?

The car served me well…if I behaved, it was an awesome cruiser and never gave me any issue. If I had a wild hair, I’d go hunting…and I got plenty of kills with the silver sleeper. From morons in Jettas trying their luck on State Route 512 to the kid in the Z28 Camaro that actually tried to fight me at Bremerton Raceways because I put three car lengths on him (mostly due to his crap shifting than me cutting a rare good light), the Buick had a rather varied and solid kill list going. And don’t ask about everybody that met up with me in the artillery range roads on Fort Lewis…that car didn’t quite pay for itself but it did cover a bill or two.

If you want a cheap beater that can be a hell of a lot of fun, you could do a lot worse than one of these cars. Shame my ex-wife drove the damn thing into every immovable object in a five-mile radius while I was enjoying the desert for the second time.