I like strange and different…I’ve kind of built up my automotive background based on those principles, for better or for worse. I like seeing original builds, things you’d never expect anyone to go near because of what they are. Some of the most memorable and discussion worthy cars are freak shows that someone looked at and instead of passing up, got the full treatment instead. Off the bat, this 1984 Mercury Colony Park hearse conversion is certainly one of the stranger cars we’ve seen someone put their wrenches on. Nothing adds on to the smog-choked mediocrity of a 1984 Panther-platform anything quite like a hearse conversion…more weight on an already underpowered 302ci V8? Sure, why not?
That doesn’t mean that there isn’t hope. While it doesn’t have quite the support that a Fox platform car has, it’s still a small-block powered Ford, which can be hopped up, it’s still a wagon, and it still can be cool. With this particular Mercury, however, you’re going to have to squint a little bit to see what I mean. Among the tacked-on skulls, flip-up skeletal middle finger, and other assorted bits, there’s a pretty solid car under here. We’d spend a day getting rid of the skulls and the lettering, then spend a weekend giving the 302 some guts while hunting around for police-spec Crown Vic suspension parts. The paint is in great shape and the interior is, too, and it looks like the coffin rack should be an easy removal if you want to put anything besides two warm, living bodies inside.
It’s still a hearse, but that doesn’t mean that it has to be over the top. Subtle goes a long way. But what about the flamethrower exhaust? Would you keep it?
eBay Link: 1984 Mercury Colony Park hearse conversion
