I had to do a double-take when I first saw this picture. The last time I remember seeing a 1981 Dodge Diplomat from Washington State this psychotic it belonged to my friend Bobby and was packing flame-throwing exhaust. I’m not entirely convinced that this isn’t a project of his that he failed to tell me about, either, but given this poor Dip’s current condition, it’s been a while since it was terrorizing the dirt roads near Graham. The “PATROL” letters along the door lead me to believe this Dodge was a former security car. Motor? Maybe. Driveable? Nope. Does the horn play “Dixie”? If the horn plays at all, I bet it sounds like a Bronx cheer. I can only assume that this is the General Lee that Bo and Luke were hawking on AutoTrader. The forlorn Dodge needs a rear axle with springs, probably rotors and spindles, and of course, a pressure washing to remove the algae and tree needles. It’s a 24 Hours of Lemons car that just needs about everything possible in order to compete, but look what Freiburger could do with the skeleton of a Dodge Charger! What say you guys?