As a young kid who was into cars from the moment I got my first Hot Wheels, I learned to pay attention to all of the cars that came and went in my life. Growing up in Colorado Springs in a house full of extended family gave me plenty of points to focus on: the white Camaro that started this whole love affair owned by my uncle Benjamin, the turd-brown 1973 Newport that my cousin Vance drove like a bat out of hell, the little cream-yellow four-eye Fox Mustang my mother owned, the deep blue 1984 Chrysler E-Class that my grandfather treated as if it was worth three times it’s actual value. With several family members in their late teens and early twenties, I got to see the cars of everybody’s friends, like the second-gen Celica, the stinkbug-stanced black and orange Ford LTD II with the sport stripes, and so on.

Two cars that really stood out belonged to my aunts Jennifer and Judy. They both had near-matching examples of the 1984 Dodge Colt GTS Turbo. How do I know that? Because this package was a one-year-only deal…1983 was much more toned down, and 1985 got a body refresh. I don’t know who had the bright red and black one and who had the bright yellow one, but I do remember both cars disappearing rather quickly. So the story goes (since nobody was going to tell the inquisitive five-year-old the actual truth in 1988), my young, high-school/early college aged aunts liked to hit up college parties at Colorado College, UCCS and Pikes Peak Community College as well as rock concerts and the like. Both of my aunts had a taste for the sauce, and I know that the yellow one wound up shaped like a boomerang when it was all said and done. I believe Otto Von Bismarck is the wise man who referenced God’s provenance for drunks and fools…

In my teenage years, Vance once confided in me about how he used to steal one of the little Colts when his Newport’s fuel tank was at the far end of empty and his wallet looked about the same. “That Newport would haul ass like no tomorrow, don’t get me wrong,” he said. “But that (freaking) Colt….holy shit, that little thing would move. Even with my big ass in it.”