You know the third-generation Pontiac Firebird and Trans-Am well. The era of hidden headlights, KITT references, high-performance 305ci V8s, corporate engines, and a faint but growing pulse of performance that many thought was all but lost just a few years prior. A few modifications and you end up with a decent daily driver that can go, stop, handle, and actually be a bit comfortable with such modern niceties as air conditioning and a healthy stereo system. And that’s fine for just about anyone. But, let’s say you aren’t just about anyone. You are a baron of the 1980s. You have money coming out of just about every possible orifice that isn’t full of Miami Vice fun, you have the pastel clothes and love the laser lights, and you need something fast to park next to your Zimmer Golden Spirit as the performance car to the Zimmer’s classic luxury look. Maybe a Ferrari Testarossa, or a Lamborghini Countach. No, you bought the Zimmer not because it was a classic, but because it’s Ford Mustang drivetrain is new, modern and reliable, and the Pontiac Tojan you are looking at has all of the benefits of the GM F-car with a look that will make everyone stop and stare.

Why they stop and stare, however, is something else altogether. With looks like a Lamborghini knockoff, complete with flared fenders and the go-to Countach-ish rear wing, one could be forgiven for thinking that the Tojan was really a horrible body kit sold out of the back of a magazine. That is only partially true. Yes, it’s a visually offensive bodykit (my apologies to the owners of the roughly 150 or so made) but this was actually a factory deal made with a group out in Omaha, Nebraska called Knudsen Automotive. Now known as RAGE Vehicles, Knudsen Automotive started out in 1978 building pretty much the same thing Stutz and Zimmer was doing, a neoclassical take on the late 1920s limousine shape. The Tojan (and it’s Chevrolet Camaro twin, the Carralo) were meant to emulate the finest vehicles from Europe. The Tojan is a blend of Ferrari and Lamborghini touches: at the front you get hints of F-40 and Berlinetta Boxer, along the sides you can easily see the Firebird, the wing screams Lamborghini and the tail, of all cars, reminds us most of a Bricklin SV-1.

Underhood, however, it was a kitten. GM’s 305 and 200R4 automatic was the only powertrain available for the Tojan. Sadly, all of that go-fast look meant jack squat except that with the right set of mufflers, it would at least sound intimidating to those who weren’t in the know. Some Tojans were fitted with digital gauges and it is rumored that at least one was fitted with a Paxton supercharger to pump out a more respectable power rating, somewhere in the 380 horsepower range.

Selling a car based upon merits it doesn’t deserve is always an uphill battle. You don’t make a car that looks like an Italian supercar and give it milquetoast performance, because the response would be brutal. If Knudsen Automotive had waited for the third-gen Turbo Trans Am to come out, stuck a six-speed behind the Grand National-sourced 3.8L V6 and geared it to run, that would have been something else…Prototype Automotive Services had stuck a ZF box into a Turbo Trans Am and got the car to run 181 miles an hour, stunning in 1989. Instead, we got the automotive equivalent of a Starship record: lots of flash but very little to like about it…unless “We Built This City” is your jam.