Custom cars are among the most individual genres of hot rodding. Cars that are heavily customized by their owners are little built for no one else but that one person’s taste. Sometimes there are guys who have amazing taste that transcends the their own and everyone else’s. Foose, Trepanier, and others build things that almost all of us marvel at and they do it in a way that inspires lots of other people to try. We just wish those other people wouldn’t a lot of the time because when they do we have things like this 1973 Satellite that look like they were created for an awful Sylvester Stallone movie that was never made. Or maybe it was made and this thing didn’t make the grade as a background car. Either way, you understand what we’re getting at here. This thing is fugly with a capital verp.
Here’s the text of the CL ad:
I have a 1973 Plymouth Satellite that I’m looking to sell. The Original 318 5.2 L engine is still in the car, and runs really strong. It has an 8 3/4″ rear end, 727 torque flight tranny, chopped top, and other body work done on it. I bought it from the original owners grandson, who told me that his grandfather owned a body shop and customized this himself, including the paint which is called “lemon twist” (which is also pinstriped on the car) (See pics) I think for some reason he wanted it to look like a Buick Riviera of the same time period. When I got it the interior had fur on the dashboard and rear speaker guards, but I ripped all that out. All the tires hold air really well except the passenger side rear tire goes flat after a couple days. The trunk is in good shape, nothing popping through. It does have some rust and needs some love, but the basic needs for the car are all here. This would be a good restoration project or parts car. Its essentially the same thing as a Plymouth Roadrunner.
It may be us but we’re not seeing the roof chop here. There were some things done to make it seem like the thing had the roof chopped but we don’t think it actually was. The covering over the rear quarter windows and raising of the proverbial “belt line” of the car does give the appearance of a shorter roof but all other things look like they’re as they were from the factory. The spotlights are pretty cool and we’re not sure what the heck happened with the headlights and grill. The change of cut lines in the rear trunk to make it appear as though it is a half folded paper airplane was a bold move, for sure.
We’ll let you handle the rest…
SCROLL DOWN TO SEE PHOTOS AND THE LINK TO THE CL AD…MAKE AN OFFER, YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT!
CL FIND: THE WEIRDEST CUSTOM 1973 PLYMOUTH SATELLITE WE HAVE EVER SEEN
First time I’ve ever been honestly able to say that a DeSoto bumper made that car look worse.
I can see the “chop” and it ain’t pretty! Since the A-pillars and cowl on these are before the edge of the fender he simply removed what he wanted from the A-pillars and then made a pie-cut to the B-pillars, then leaned the whole roof forward.
oh, I dunno…give it some kind of grille and paint it flat black and I’d drive it…not nicely, mind you. this needs a few dents and filth to look kool.
I dunno…
I am torn between putting some 13″ Dayton wire wheels and white wall tires, adding a hydralic system, redo the interior in crushed velvet and put a mural of a half naked woman on the hood
Or…
“Road Warrior”-ing the heck out of it; flat black paint, super stock hood scoop, a wing from a WRX on the trunk, and gutting the interior.
It started as a 73… no beauty queen in itself. Sorry Mopar fans. On the bright side the tires hold air really well….except for the right rear. Next time I sell a car I’m going to mention that the tires hold air well. I think it’s a great selling point
Like braktcr said the 73s were no beauty queens. But this sure didn’t help thing any. I needs to be put out of it’s misery.
My first thought when I saw the profile was that it might not be too bad if you added quad headlights and a conventional grille. But the more I look at it, the worse it gets.
setting aside the questionable (ok,gawdawfuluglysumb#tch) looks of the thing,i gotta wonder how well no grill opening works?–i’m thinking toasty to boiling in 30 seconds flat….
From the Mopar guy:
1. Add a real grille, and either quad headlights or the headlights from a late-80’s Jag XJ to make it work right. Clean the metalwork up and I’d like it.
2. Fender skirts?! Radius the wheel wells and stuff BFG All-Terrains under there. Or at least 70’s style wide-as-F! mags.
3. That roofline. Ugh. You owe me the dinner I just threw up.
4. Why make the ass end look like a ’73 Buick? And the front bumper there?! Really?
GoWing, some metalwork and a shitload of black paint, and we might have a Death Race worthy ride.
I don’t really see the Riviera in it at all. The 71-73 boattails had a conventional trunk opening and that weird cut doesn’t do that car any favors. Honestly it looks more Jag XJS than Riviera.
I think this is one that is probably ready to be put out to pasture as a parts car…