After tooling around with the dirt-cheap Caddy limo for a couple of weeks, I have to admit, there is something about driving a freakshow of a car that is just a riot. The way people look at you on the highway as you roll past, the question and answer sessions that take place whenever you stop for fuel, the looks of little kids who want to know all about it (and their mothers, who want you at least a hundred yards away from the school zone)…there is a twisted side of me that is enjoying the obnoxiousness of it all. But like anything in life, you can’t get cocky, because someone somewhere is doing a far better job of whatever it is you think you are doing.
If my memory serves me right, I’ve never hunted down a Rough Start car in Florida. I could be wrong, but I’ve tended to stay away from the Sunshine State because it’s mostly a peninsula surrounded by ocean, battered by hurricanes and struck down upon with the most lightning in the country. There is also a disproportionate amount of crazy found in the tap water, it seems. This 1997 Lincoln Town Car limousine was right on the list when I performed my first Craigslist search. What a find, huh? Somewhere, I think I can hear Scott Liggett weeping quietly. What do you do with a limousine that’s nearly 200,000 miles on? Lift it until you can bolt on 33″ mud tires, that’s what! You strip off the factory vinyl top and all of the trim, you leave the interior as pimp as you would expect a limo to be, and you drive the beast wherever the hell you want to go.
At least there’s info on this Town Car’s mechanical health. The 4.6L V8 “sounds like 1000 baby tigers purring”. There’s a new alternator, intake manifold, and new batteries (plural? Ok…) The wheel and tire package, 18″ American Racing ATX wheels on Nittos, is brand spanking new. You will need to fix some electric window issues and the A/C could stand to be recharged (HA! Good luck with that starting this year! -UPCG) and of course, you will have to do something about that unsightly gray primer breaking up the yards of otherwise pristine white Lincoln.
All-in, you’ll get to keep a single hundred dollar bill from the $5,000 Rough Start budget, but think about what your money has bought: enough space to live inside of, a car that you can have a riot with, and if you know how to market yourself, instant Instagram notoriety. Or, you can just figure out how to rent your new car for prom seasons in certain geographical locations. Be entrepreneurial!
KILL THIS THING NOW!
Of course McTaggart would post this
McTaggart routinely kills my vibe.
That think needs a GIANT safari rack.
This thing is hideous, but I’ve got to admit – it looks like it would be a blast to load this thing up with a dozen friends, stock the bar with their beverages of choice, and go mud bogging with it.
There are a lot of country music fans who would love to cruise this thing to their wedding.
I see potential!!!
If you got to a rural wedding in the middle of nowhere this thing would make sense.
Weeping? Not a chance. Not even for the poor schlub who buys this thing and dies in it.
That era of limos were giant POS when they were built. That was your regular Towncar that some dude cut in half then added all the stretch part of the stretch limo. The act up building a stretch generally voided the factory warranty. Lifting one just make them oh so less to drive. No thank you.
Nit-picking! SUCK IT, HATERS!!! This thing is AWESOME in a BAD sort of way! That 4.6 ain’t gonna snap no necks, but what a RIOT this would be to wheel around! Not much on the undercarriage, but what you do see don’t look like no hack job, and, hey! If it did break in the boonies, you could get yer freak on in the back while waitin` on a BIG wrecker! Think outside the box!
Yes! To the huuuge safari rack, add a Triton v10, and maybe it\’s a new chase vehicle for some off-road shenanigans lol
I completely agree with your thoughts about translation, thanks for sharing!