We are in that in-between period in the seasons, between the last icy gasps of winter and the first welcome signs of spring. It’s that time when the deciduous trees are starting to bud out, when the roses and daffodils start to appear, and the weather takes a turn for the straight-up mental. Around BangShift Mid-West, my locale, that means that the temperature readout for the week looks like the Front Range of the Rocky Mountains: up-down-up-up-WAY DOWN-kind of up…you get the idea. It also means that we get a couple inches of snow that melts hours later, the random tornado that comes traipsing through the backyard, and rainstorms that this year, border on biblical in nature.
Could be worse. I could be in Lohnes’ shoes. The Northeast caught their fourth Nor’easter storm system that dumped enough snow on the ground to be considered cringeworthy. Brian, an avid Bostonian if there ever was one, took it like a champ: he was finding his zen while shoveling out a legitimate shit-ton of snow from his driveway. By the time it was done, he had two tall drifts on either side of his bare slab of a driveway. He found it relaxing. My spine ached in sympathy on his behalf.
I don’t know what Lohnes is driving this week, but I know damn well what he should be driving: this 1996 Toyota Land Cruiser. It’s no FJ40, but once he sees the tracks and learns that it has remote start to get the heater up and going, I don’t think he will care. How could he say no? He could finish wiring up the Smittybilt winch and when he’s not out and about across the country, spend his time winching out trucks from ditches. And when the weather in the Boston area isn’t a complete white-out, he can drop the tracks and put wheels and tires on it in under an hour.
C’mon, boss. You spent how much on a tow truck that can barely touch highway speeds? Take the kids to school in this thing one time with the tracks attached and your legendary status will be gilded in gold.