Another day, another complete disaster of a kit car for sale online. If you happen to be drunk at this early hour of the day, your eyes may be telling you that we’re bagging on a Ferrari Testarossa. We are in fact bagging on a shitbox Fiero with a completely mangled body kit on it that is supposed to look like a Ferrari Testarossa but instead looks like the automotive equivalent of a sad clown velvet painting. This thing is a disaster in all respects. The seller is honest with us though, including what may be the finest line ever used in the history of eBay when he tells perspective buyers, “IIKE I BEEN SAYING SHE LOOKS LIKE 200mph, BUT IT S NOT.” If that “looks like 200mph” to you than dropping the crack pipe and heading to a treatment center are two things you need to make happen like right now.
The guy lists the car as a 1980. This could have been the advanced prototype Fiero that they used as an engineering mule for FOUR YEARS before the actual models hit the streets in 1984 or maybe it was some sort of Ferrari decoy that was also in service for four years before the Testarossa was sold. The seller lists the interior as being “50% done”. Judging by the photos it is “100% done” and by that we mean it should be flame thrower fodder. From the blaring yellow dash panels to the Ferrari logo floor mats, it appears to be pure Italian luxury. The Testarossa is legendary for the exhaust note the thing blared out, we’re talking real sexy stuff. The Fiero is saddled with a lumpy little four banger that sounds like a farm tractor’s weaker sister.
Someday BangShift will have what is known as a “budget”. When we do, we promise to buy crap like this and destroy it live on camera in super fun ways. Until then, we’ll just continue to shame these cars into submission. The tiny little wing is just a sad reminder of this car’s total shit-tastic wrongness as well. We had to throw that in there.
SCROLL DOWN FOR PHOTOS OF THIS DISASTER AND THE LINK IF YOU WANT TO BUY IT!
EBAY AD: A FAKE FIERO FERRARI SHITBOX MASTERPIECE
….this piece of s*** makes the Camaro/VW kit car look good!
And I’m either having vision issues, or the right rear wheel and tire are seriously toed out. No bueno. Although, any kind of required alignment on this thing can’t be nearly it’s biggest problem.
Reading the description the seller is obviously an English teacher.
The car doesn’t deserve destruction. While the poorly sized, ineffective “Cobra R” wing must go, along with the Ferrari badging and the garish paint/trim work . . . and, of course, the awful Iron Duke engine . . ., at the core, there’s something to work with here.
The “Miami Vice” Testarossa is not the most attractive Ferrari style to copy, but a mid-engine chassis with wide enough fenders to house some huge meats deserves a fate better than a flame thrower.
When did Bangshifting turn in to pointless vandalism. Instead, Bangshifting ought to be about bringing out the best performance possible in any sporting vehicle.
You’re out of your damn mind.
caviar dreams on a hot dog budget
That could describe a vast number of hot rodding projects over the past century of automotive history, many of which ultimately turned out bitchin.
More like Cavalier Dreams on a Taurus budget.
Wanna fix it? Ok…
1. Paintbooth. A blind gay man could see what’s wrong with that color. I suggest black.
2. Remove anything calling it a Ferrari.
3. Northstar/Shortstar swap, pronto.
4. Ditch wings.
5. Good sized rubber and decent rims.
6. Sell it to someone under 5’3″.
I know from experience that a Fiero will accommodate people over 6′.
They were decent cars except for the lousy Roger Smith-era styling, the horrible factory powertrains, blind-eyed build quality, and GM’s cheapness on suspension tuning. Chalk that one up to the bean-counters and Corvette politics.
It’s sad that the basic idea of the Fiero (mass-produced FWD mechanicals repurposed for an affordable, economical mid-engine sports car . . . copied from the original Mustang I prototype and the production Lotus Europa and Fiat X1/9) has passed from the American-made scene.
Get rid of the wing and all the walmart shark fins and air scoops, all ferrari badging and paint it black. keep those wheels but paint the inside gunmetal. swap the iron puke for an ls or north star. I think it would look good but not great. Also it would be a quick mid-engined demon that coulr be beat on all day every day and it wouldnt mater. But it correct it and beat the tar out of it.
I like those wheels for some strange reason.
heh It’s what ever floats your boat This is somebodies dream car may be not your…
just saying
The driveline components from a wrecked Lotus Elise would bring some life to it. Lose the Ferrrari crap, paint it White with tinted windows. Recarro seats with carbon fiber interior panels would be awesome.
Dyno-mite……no really it needs two sticks
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This is an abomination to any Fiero. In 1980s, for those old enough to remember,there was a gasoline crisis and the Fiero was sold to GM management as an economical commuter car. GM and their wisdom(?) had Pontiac build the car from left over parts in the parts bin. A Citation engine FWD reversed and put in the back, the front with Chevette suspension parts. I bought an 87 Fiero GT in March of 87 and still have it. A V6 with 140 HP was good for the day. The much vaulted Corvette had a 240 HP 350 CI boat anchor engine. BY 1988 the suspension was upgraded and the car was a nice handling car. However the 84 iron Duke engine had poor quality connecting rods and many engines broke (also the owners manual stated 3.5 quarts of oil in error which added to the problems) of premature engine failure. The car was cancled after GM pulled the advertisement budget and bad press from the early Fiero production issues bad press.
somewhere,there’s a 17 year old boy drooling after this abomination….i weep for this generation…………………
I’m thinking twin Northstars or 3800s. Both turbocharged of course. With that body kit you could bulge the hood and nobody would think twice. Stick some sticky rubber on it and start talking about how much power you can make with the 2.8.
Kevin
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