Our buddy RTC, aka RTCTTFMF on the BangShift.com LIVE broadcast chat room, sent us this Austin Craigslist ad and it rules. Is it a joke? Then it’s damn funny. Is it real? Then it’s the coolest garage sale ad ever, and we want to someday have the stones to write such an ad. It’s awesome. Read it below, and then click the link if you don’t believe it’s real.
MANLY MAN GARAGE SALE (Slaughter/Manchaca)
Here’s a partial list of some of the bitchin’ stuff for sale:
Automotive hand tools, household hand tools, a ton of half full spray cans, books, CAR-Toon magazines from the 1980s, miscellaneous car parts (some still new in the box), B&M shifter for almost any automatic, car stereo/CD player and door speakers, flux core welder, home garage sized air compressor, mini bike parts, a completely rebuilt, super fast minibike with Roth metal flake paint, tan leather sofa, dresser, chop saw, cordless screwdriver, auto body repair tools and supplies, brackets and gussets for air ride suspension that have never been used, motorcycle helmets, big Manly-Man clothing, Queen sized bed (I hate that they gave that such a sissy name) and tons more!!!! This sale is being held by a hot rodder and handy man who is moving out of state and doesn’t want to pack and move a ton of stuff. Take advantage of my laziness! Come and get some cool stuff at a great price. Oh, and if your wife asks, there is also a brand new quilt that my grandma made. You can buy that for her and not get in trouble for spending money on yourself for once.
1806 Rockland Drive in the Sweetwater Glen subdivision, across from the new Moontower Saloon. I’d put a map on this page, but real men don’t need maps.
Follow the signs, then look for big, bearded Manly-Men who are beating you to all the cool junk. ANYTHING THAT IS STILL IN MY DRIVEWAY AT 6pm IS GOING TO BE GIVEN AWAY OR THROWN IN THE TRASH! By then, there won’t be much left but if it’s still there when the fat lady sings, you can have it.
Free iced tea and Doritos for anyone who drives up in a cool car more than 20 years old. Any ‘man’ who shows up in a new Beetle will have to drink pink lemonade and eat mint leaves like the little girl that he is. Discount for guys with giant beards or knife scars on the face. Free gift for anyone who has had half an ear bitten off in a bar fight or lost a finger in a blower explosion.
LEAVE THE WIFE IN THE CAR. We will be smoking cigars, farting and scratching ourselves while looking at man stuff, the way God intended it!
‘Real men don’t need maps.’ We can thank the GPS for that!
That was hilarious “Any ‘man’ who shows up in a new Beetle will have to drink pink lemonade and eat mint leaves like the little girl that he is…” oh dear!
Awesome.
My kind of sale !
That was great! Sounds like a great time!
If I’d sen this Saturday I would’ve gone to Austin just to see the sale if nothing else. But then I most likely would have had to buy that quilt to keep out of trouble for buying half the stuff the guy had.
right-freakin on!!!! there really should be some sort of mark that you put on garagesale signs that let you know what they have for sale!!–you know,a circle for girly stuff,a triangle for guy crap,squares for electronics,etc…. any thoughts,bangshifters?
free Doritos? I’m guessing Chad is still there!
To be honest. Real men don’t give a shit.
free iced tea is this guy’s idea of manly?? methinks he just wants some butch guys to ogle at…
I would have said ‘free beer in a dirty glass with a hooker pube on top’ but I didn’t want TABC paying me a visit for advertising free alcohol.
The Craigslist ad is 100% real. I know because I’m the one that wrote it. 🙂 Thanks for all the fun comments. We ended up having a blast with the sale and made a good chunk of money to boot!
Awesome!
Manly garage sale? I’m in!
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