Ever see one of those gross, tasteless kit car atrocities driving down the road, and spend time trying to figure out what car was butchered to give that rolling abomination life, while simultaneously trying to pour bleach onto your eyeballs to cleanse them of the sight? Well, I do, so let’s play a game, shall we? It’s called the “What perfectly good car did this NeoClassical or tasteless Kit Car used to be?” game! I’ll post the pictures of a car, and you try to guess what perfectly good car was sacrificed so it could be created in the seventh circle of automotive Hell. Let’s start off with….
#1: The 1986 Tiffany Coupe.
It’s a Fox Body Mercury Cougar.
Poor kitty; it should have just been put to sleep instead of being mutated it into this thing.
#2: The Caballista.
It’s a 1982 Corvette.
This particular Caballista sacrificed a Collector’s Edition ‘Vette to live. This one will offend Corvette purists AND people that have good taste. Impressively awful.
#3: This “Bentley” Convertible.
It’s a mid-90’s Oldsmobile Cutlass Convertible.
Not a terrible loss, but in a weird way, I kinda like these. And I like them when they are still Teal Cutlasses with those squinty 90’s GM headlights, not hacked into a fake Bentley.
#4: The Spartan II.
It’s a Datsun 280ZX.
While I never thought a 280ZX could reach levels of gaudiness higher than the mustache and cocaine-fueled “Black Gold” 10th Anniversary model, this one does. Harvest the motor for parts and crush the carcass!
#5: This “’40 Ford”.
It’s a Chevrolet S10 Blazer.
How they did this, and why they did this, is a question that no one should answer. What’s done is done, and the only solution is to kill it with fire. I knew those doors looked familiar.
Now, that was fun, right? I hope you enjoyed this little game of guessing what these poor vehicles used to be. Hopefully your eyes still work after seeing these automotive atrocities.