When BangShift reader Remy-Z tipped us off to the announcement from Nike that they would be producing a limited edition “DeLorean Inspired” shoe, we looked for the punchline. Turns out, there isn’t one, other than the product itself. Considering the last thing DeLorean inspired was an FBI investigation and a lot of pissed off Irish people, the shoes kind of follows the right path.

Designers used the “aerodynamic” shape of the DMC-12 for the basis of the shoe, then used the silver color to match the stainless steel body of the production cars. The bottom of the shoe has a sole that looks like a DeLorean taillight. The crazy part? These things will fetch big money from sneaker collectors. Yes, there are people who buy, and save sneakers like we accumulate old car parts.

It seems to us that a large part of the target demographic probably has no idea what a DeLorean is, let alone that the car was an underpowered, overpriced oddity that is literally slower than a base model mini-van to 60mph. It made 130hp for Pete’s sake!

We’ve learned of several upcoming offering from Nike —

The Renault Alliance shoe — This shoe will make you run slower and will fall apart two months after you first wear them. 

The Dodge Aries show — This shoe will be durable, but will cause you to be mocked in public and wearing them will ensure that you’ll never get laid.

The Yugo shoe — You’ll get them for short money, but mysteriously they will catch fire less than a year after you buy them. 

The Pinto Shoe — Economical and well styled, you like them at first. Unfortunately when a friend steps on your heel you will be immediately doused with gasoline and erupt into flame. 

The Saab Shoe — This quirky piece of footwear will be oddly shaped and will be worn backward (left shoe on right foot).  

The Vega Shoe — Using advanced construction techniques this shoe will hit the market with a lot of fanfare. Sadly, you’ll be replacing your laces multiple times as the materials used in the construction of the shoe will cause them to fray and fail several times. 

The LeCar Shoe — Purchasers of this shoe are making a statement, “I’m here, I’m queer, get used to it.”

The Toyota Shoe — You’ll run faster than ever in these shoes. Sadly, you will run directly into traffic, a telephone pole, a wall, or a van full of nuns due to the failure of unnecessary technology designed into the shoe. 

The Pontiac Shoe — You’ll buy these shoes just as your life has turned around and many sins of your recent past have been forgotten, then a piano will fall on you. 

The Chinese Sedan Shoe — This shoe will be fine until you try to kick a soccer ball. At that point it will fly apart and your foot will break.

The Tata Nano Shoe — Practically free, only half your foot will fit in it and running at anything more than a jog could cause the sole to fall off.