Just because the sun is shining and there is a bird or two in your yard doesn’t mean that Spring is here yet. It’s a ruse. Mother Nature is a cruel prankster. You still have plenty of time in the garage to finish up your winter project, we promise. But if you feel like coming out of that cave for a bit, cleaning up and recharging your batteries for a moment, then sit down, belly up to the table and check out the gleaming pile of re-roasted scraps of leftover news clippings we call Scrapple!

1. Country Squire, you ain’t.

Callaway, the company that took the C4 Corvette and turned it into a 254 MPH freak of nature, then took the fourth-generation Camaro and made it into an even sleeker used bar of soap, has now gone and made the C7 Corvette into the most truncated station wagon we’ve ever seen. Dubbed the Callaway AeroWagen, the conversion to a standard C7 Corvette will set you back about fifteen thousand for the conversion, another three grand to color-match it to the car, and just about two grand for the optional spoiler attachment. We get the concept…but we are puzzled as to why, since the gain isn’t that incredible for the price.

2. Are You Not Entertained?!!

So Bernie Ecclestone, the Gollum of motorsports, has finally been ousted from Formula 1. That’s a good thing. Now Ross Brawn, the the new managing director of Formula 1, has come out and said that he wants to make the show “more entertaining”. What does that mean? “We know what fans want: They want entertainment, they want close racing, they want to be able to understand what’s going on,” Brawn told the BBC in an interview. “And I think everyone agrees on that, I think simplicity is a key objective for the future. I’ve watched F1 for the last few years as a spectator, and there are times where even I haven’t been sure what’s been going on in the race.”

Short of another truck jump or the second coming of James Hunt in his 1970s prime, it’s a good start.

3. Missing: A whole herd of cats.

$3.75 million dollars of engines were appropriated by criminals from Jaguar Land Rover’s Solihull site on Feburary 3rd. The thieves, using a stolen semi tractor, managed to get access to the Solihull site, where they jacked two semi-trailers filled with engines, one after the other. As of press time, only the trailers themselves have been located. The engines? Long gone. Jaguar Land Rover will only say that they are cooperating with the police in this matter due to the investigation. It’s not the first time it’s happened, either..a couple of years ago, a former employee liberated $2.75 million worth of engines.

4. Time for a second look at the business plan?

Lynk & Co., the brand of Chinese auto manufacturer Geely that has been eyeing the U.S. market with this, the “01”, a reskinned Volvo SUV, is starting to reconsider their position on the matter, now that President Donald Trump has taken office. With the concept of stiff import tariffs a serious issue, the company is hoping that by creating jobs within the United States, that they might be able to maintain their forward momentum.

5. If the food is telling you what to do, put the keys DOWN.

The chips have to tell you that you’re too plastered to drive. Wow. What a time to be alive. Don’t be stupid, folks…