Car season is kicking off, and we couldn’t be happier. We have races, projects, live feeds and more to work on, but we aren’t the only ones that are busy right now. There is all sorts of automotive news flying around the Internet that we look at, and most of it we release back into the wind for someone else to do something with. Occasionally we find a few pieces that might be worthy…or worthy of roasting…and we repurpose them into a serving of Scrapple just for you. Yes, it’s supposed to look like that…now quit poking at it and finish it off.

1. Forget GM, Sergio has found a new crush…Mary Barra, you can relax. FCA boss Sergio Marchionne has found a new interest: Apple. With the Chrysler 200 and Dodge Dart sales swirling around the proverbial toilet bowl, and only the Jeep and Ram lines showing any promise, Marchionne is still trying to meet a joint venture with a company. His thought process? Apple has shown interest in making a car, FCA makes the actual “car” part, and if he allows enough concessions to Apple, FCA will look enticing. Just how well that will really work? Just wait and see.

2. Bugatti Sedan. Just to piss off Greenpeace.As if the recently announced Bugatti Chiron wasn’t enough to set enviro-freaks on edge, rumors are swirling that the pinnacle point of the VAG Group’s auto departments is still tossing around the idea of a four-door ultra-luxury sedan with four-digit horsepower levels and a top speed in the 240-ish range. Bugatti has flirted with the idea before (the 16C Galiber concept, pictured above, was the last go-around) but, be grateful for one thing: they will NEVER build an SUV.

How long do you think that’ll last? Maybe five years, tops.

3. Happy 100th Birthday, BMW! Sincerely (snort!), Mercedes-Benz!

The funnier part: ‘We warmly congratulate the globally renowned company BMW on its anniversary and invite all employees of BMW AG to discover the complete history of the automobile at the Mercedes-Benz Museum.” At least BMW employees get free admission to the museum!

4. Guess who failed art class?We can’t tell you why Amanda Schweickert decided to fake a New York State license plate by using a slab of cardboard and a magic marker kit. We don’t even know what made her think that she could get away with driving around with it. But she did it, she was caught after cops noticed the fine details missing from the homemade plate that are on the official variety, and she is now facing a felony for possession of a forged instrument, misdemeanor counts of driving on a suspended registration and three traffic and vehicle citations.

5. Speaking of BMWs…REPENT, SPEEDER!

In the strangest news story to cross our desks in a while, a Wisconsin man named Haris Mackic pulled over a semi-truck for speeding. Fun fact: Mackic is not a cop. He instead pulled his BMW in front of the semi and slowed down to 10 mph, at which point the trucker stopped. That’s when things got really weird: Mackic got out of the car, ran up to the door, identified himself as a cop and proceeded to berate the driver for going above 70 miles an hour. At some point during his impromptu traffic stop, he broke off the truck’s radio antenna, climbed onto the engine cover and demanded that the truck driver “apologize to Jesus” for speeding. When the real cops showed up after receiving reports of a psycho in a BMW driving erratically and threatening the trucker, Mackic ditched the antenna under the truck and tried to pass himself off as a cop from the same department. Mackic was charged with impersonating a peace officer, disorderly conduct and criminal damage to property. The trucker went on his way…at his truck’s governed speed of 64 miles an hour.