Cars and music just go together. Certain cars make you think of certain types of music. I know that I can’t walk by a Christine clone Plymouth without the song “Little Bitty Pretty One” playing in my head, with visions of a fat kid running for his life. You can blame movies or television, but somehow we lock songs onto cars and they somehow stick. Do you hear “Eastbound and Down” every time you see a black-and-gold Trans Am?
While writing with my cache of music playing (something I don’t often do) I started thinking about Roadkill’s cars and how there really isn’t a song attached to any of their cars. That didn’t seem right, so, after some careful consideration, taking into account the vehicle’s overall character and attitude, I came up with a list. I kept known privately owned vehicles, such as Freiburger’s Super Bee, the Blasphemi ’55 Chevy, and the Mercury hot rod off of the list, but everything else was fair game. Don’t agree with me? I’m not surprised, but hey… check out the songs for yourself (the titles are linked) and if you have a better suggestion, put it down below!
11. Macho Grande (1973 Surburban)- AC/DC: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
Freiburger’s long-term workhorse featured early on, and while it’s place was taken by the Ramp Truck, many people still have fond memories of this big, lumbering beast doing the dirty work. Anything Freiburger asked it to do, it did…just go with the joke, ok? They’ll get better, I promise.
10. Gremmie (1975 AMC Gremlin)- The Trammps: Disco Inferno
Where to start? It’s everything you remember about the 1970s that makes you cringe. Pea-green, disco-friendly, and a cult classic for one reason or another. I fully expect hate mail for this, but I can’t help but hear “Disco Inferno” every time I watch this thing take on the autocross course, especially in the slow-motion bits where you can see the car scrape the doorhandles.
9. Leaf-Blower Monza (1978 Chevrolet Monza)- Mötley Crüe: Kickstart My Heart
The Monza that the guys picked up for the ultimate Internet tech advice piece sounded plenty snotty on its own accord, and that was before Jeff Lutz’s shop tuned it, and certainly before several Husqvarna leaf blowers’s worth of air pressure got piped into the intake system. Adding a little kick to something that already rocks was a Mötley Crüe trait from the start, and while the leaf blowers didn’t quite have the effect on the Monza that the adrenaline shot did to Nikki Sixx’s heart, it still fits. Besides, the Monza was fast enough on its own accord to get Finnegan yelled at by Keith Turk.
8. The Rotsun (1971 Datsun 240Z)- Metallica: Holier Than Thou
The Rotsun is unique among the Roadkill cars: it’s both deeply loved and deeply derided at the same time. It’s ratio of body to rust increases every hour, it’s the only V6 car that has earned a place (a Powerstroke’s turbo may have helped a bit) and is more “junk” than most of the garage. But when the Rotsun is running, it runs…hearing Freiburger laughing his head off after he thrashes it around an abandoned neighborhood proves that it’s a riot. Fast, aggressive, and earning the ire of the high-dollar club, “Holier Than Thou” suits, especially with James Hetfield screaming, “Hey, who the hell are you?”
7. Rat Rod Willys (1952 Willys)- Jeff Beck: Hot Rod Honeymoon
Seeing the Rat Rod Willys left me a bit confused. It’s hipster, a bit punk, a bit classic Americana, and I’m not quite sure if I liked it or not. Which is exactly the way I felt when I first heard “Hot Rod Honeymoon” while playing Gran Turismo 4.
6. Vette-Kart (What’s left of a 1985 Chevrolet Corvette)- Andrew W.K.: I Get Wet
The Vette-Kart has been controversial from the moment Sawzall met fiberglass, and the end result is a loud, stripped down, bombastic, fast and barely contained psychopath that is pure fun with a chance of a maiming injury. Anybody who has been to an Andrew W.K. concert knows that this description suits Mr. Wilkes-Krier first-hand, but just like the Vette-Kart, that doesn’t stop you from wanting to join the party and go for broke at the loudest possible volume.
5. Ramp Truck (1973 Chevrolet C-30)- Johnny Paycheck: Take This Job And Shove It
Roadkill’s Ramp Truck has been called into service constantly since it was purchased, but it hasn’t been without faults. Battery issues, fuel issues…you can almost hear this song playing out of the speakers when the truck quits on Carlos Lago as he tries to haul the Gremlin around. Sure, the big Chevy works, but some days it’s just had enough of your shit.
4. Raunchero (1968 Ford Ranchero)- Johnny Cash: I’ve Been Everywhere
A classic build deserves a classic song, and what better way to celebrate Roadkill’s long-distance road tripper than The Man In Black himself? California, Colorado, Canada, Alaska…
3. Draguar (1974 Jaguar XJ12)-Bullet For My Valentine: Whole Lotta Rosie
The Draguar was difficult to pin down. It’s British, has an American twist, is a lot faster now than it was originally, and with the blower through the hood, has a touch of Australian to it. Welsh band Bullet For My Valentine’s cover of AC/DC’s “Whole Lotta Rosie” lines up perfectly: faster, louder, but has the same character that Angus and the boys cooked up way back then.
2. Muscle Truck (1974 Chevrolet C-10)- Rob Zombie: Superbeast
Rob Zombie’s stomper suits the Muscle Truck to a “T”: Thumping bass line? Check. Good speed? Check. A lot of people screaming “Hell Yeah!” when they hear it? Absolutely. The C-10 is dirty enough that you can almost picture a ton of headbangers around the truck while a Zombie girl go-go dances in the bed while the more civil population look on in absolute horror.
1. General Mayhem (1968 Dodge Charger)- Pitchshifter: WYSIWYG
I almost had settled on “Superbeast” for the General Mayhem, but something wasn’t right. The song was too…I don’t know…typical. The Charger is anything but typical. It’s violently loud (and soon to be even more so), visually off-putting with it’s post-apocalyptic looks and more than capable of putting some adrenaline into your system. What made me change my mind was a look back at a video game I played the hell out of as a kid: Twisted Metal 3, and more specifically, the character “Roadkill”, the old, beaten up muscle car. The soundtrack to Twisted Metal 3 was filled in by Rob Zombie and Pitchshifter, an electronic/rock band/industrial band, and the track “WISIWYG” suits the Charger’s mission: What You See Is What You Get, which in this case is everything you need, and nothing you don’t.
My favourite would be the awesome black land speed Caddy and Bela Lugosi’s Dead by Bauhaus…..
The only one that rings a bell with me is General mayhem and the song would be “New World Coming” by Accept
Saw the Roadkill van on Power Tour and had the words to Sammy Kershaw’s “Chevy Van” in my head. Don’t forget “Bad to the Bone” for Blasphemi ’55 Chevy.
For the General Mayham, I would have gone with Jesus Built my Hot Rod by Ministry
-Have that blasting while on the rally course and you would have either 1.) knock a full 10 seconds off your time by never letting the skinny pedal up from the floor 2) Park that sumbitch in a tree by sliding off road because you never let the skinny pedal up from the floor.
For the Rotson – Mongoloid by Demented Are Go
– nuff said
For the Vette-kart – Who was in my Room Last Night by the Butthole Surfers
– I am sure the vette would feel this way since it woke up one day with no clothes, being beaten like a rented mule
For the Muscle Truck – Wild Ride by Koffin Kats
– Yep.
For the Big Block Duster – Bad Boy Boogie by AC/DC
-this thing looks like an old school 70’s or 80’s street racer. Needs the soundtrack to go with it.
Blasphemi would have to be something off the Primmer 55 “Introduction to Mayhem” album. I’m thinking “G’s”
P.S. Don’t look that one up if you get your panties in a bunch easily.
I vote Redneck Piece of White Trash-Rebel Son for General Mayhem