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Unhinged Top 11: What Happened When I Let The Internet “#roastmycar”

Unhinged Top 11: What Happened When I Let The Internet “#roastmycar”

Why on Earth would I subject three of my cars to an online open-mic comedy roast? What good could possibly come out of it? Humility, that’s what. We get so tied up in how great our cars are, regardless, that they become something held much higher than they should be. We don’t see the flaws, but other people do, and they can call us out on our BS. In person, that would be a dicey issue. On the Internet…what am I gonna do, type loudly towards you in anger? Please. Ask any twelve-year-old that plays Xbox Online how easy it is to piss people off online and not get their just rewards for their asshole behavior.

CarThrottle has a neat little section called “Roast My Car”, and I decided to throw three of my vehicles into the mix: the Angry Grandpa Chrysler 300C, the Raven Imperial, and the Project SuperBeater 1981 Dodge Mirada I worked on for years. The 300C is a typical used car, and the total purchase price of the other two is $650…and I only paid for the Mirada, since the Imperial was a “get it out of my yard now” kind of deal. To me, they are all awesome cars, but to the world? Here’s the photos chosen and the comments I got:

Angry Grandpa3f1bc4c01ff90a0207e7cae125f50906

11. “I think everyone is wondering why you’re sitting in a cardboard box in the middle of the racetrack.” -Keanen Hall

10. “I see you are trying to take a corner. Good luck with that.” -BMarmis

9. “It’s not cool to get people to roast your grandma’s car.” -John Paul Trapp

8. gasp it’s turning!” -The Almighty CC

7. “I see that you like a practical car… that grill will make a perfect barbecue!” -Justin

Project Raven 


6. “Was this car on Pimp My Ride?” -Chris Harvey

5. “The local pimp called, he wants his car back.” -Josh Hickman

4. “Not doing so well in the drug business?” -gary busey

Project SuperBeater84351c0d2e98214f9a829149ef25e47e

3. “I’m the reason why gas prices are high.” -anas_r34

2. “It has the same drag coefficient as the Empire State Building.” -BMWfan

1. “Jesse, we need to roast.” -Wakallord

Not bad, CarThrottle, not bad. But surely you readers of BangShift can do better? Give it your best shot!

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8 thoughts on “Unhinged Top 11: What Happened When I Let The Internet “#roastmycar”

  1. BSD289

    Project Raven’: It’s even closing it’s own eyes in disgust!

    Project SuperBeater’: Just push it back 20ft, it’s got gills, it’l be fine down there i promise..

  2. jerry z

    What that expression? “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

    Cricket. Cricket.

  3. tedly

    Angry Grandpa: The automotive embodiment of khaki.
    Raven: “What the hell is that?! Oh… Nevermind.”
    SuperBeater: That’s like asking me to roast the special ed kids! Come on man!

  4. Duane B

    Mopar owners, proof that God has a sense of humor and wants to share it with the rest of us.

    Angry Grandpa = You paid for that, why? Hertz called they want their car back.
    Raven Imperial = Your dad was right, you get what you pay for.
    Mirada = How’s the mullet doing? Is the Billy Ray Cyrus cassette still stuck in the deck? That baby got a lean burn in it? Duuuuuuuuuuude sweet wheels!

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