Kurt Busch’s trial is only missing Michael Bay explosions and P.T. Barnum in the middle of the courtroom floor to truly become an entertainment dream…or nightmare, depending on your point of view. The embattled NASCAR driver has been at the center of a nasty domestic issue ever since September of last year, when ex-girlfriend Patricia Driscoll claimed that he bashed her head against the wall of his R.V. and he claimed that he was asking her to leave after they had broken up, and that she had hit her head on the way out. Since then, Busch has claimed that Driscoll is a mercenary-for-hire and a trained assassin who, as a jilted former lover, is out to destroy his reputation while she maintains that he is out to destroy her reputation. Following along? Good…

The closing statements of the trial were entered on February 5th, 2015. Busch’s attorney, Rusty Hardin, wrote, according to USA Today: “We respectfully request that the Court not reward her perjury and scorched-earth approach of destruction by granting her a protective order,” his attorney Rusty Hardin wrote in his closing arguments. “There is only one person in this duo that needs protection, and it is not Patricia Driscoll — it is Kurt Busch.”  In addition, Busch’s legal team has inquired why Driscoll has refused to deny Busch’s statements regarding her career choices under oath and claim that she hasn’t because that would open up the opportunity for people who have heard her claims of being a trained assassin to come forward and testify.

Driscoll’s attorney, Carolyn McNeice, had this to say: “I suggest instead that Respondent (Busch) does not have a public relations problem; he has a domestic violence problem,” McNeice wrote. “He committed an act of abuse and the Court should find in Mrs. Driscoll’s favor.”